Nights

Dear Lord another sleepless night is behind me.

Why is it Lord that although I have given my life to you and trust you to do with it what you will, I still agonize over my future? How can I give lip service to abiding in your love and having peace in the midst of the storms and still feel the stress of the unknown? Why can I not rest in you fully and sleep with the peace that passes all understanding?

Forgive me God for the times I cannot turn my burdens over to you and rest easy. Forgive me for my human nature and the fact that I cannot turn it aside. Forgive me for my stress and worry.

And God, may tonight be a better night. May I sleep in the peace and comfort of your arms. And may I let go of the things that prey on my heart and undermine my spirit. Make your presence so real to me that it's palpable, that I can feel it - and not forget it. Ever.

Gratitude

In this, the season of gratitude, Lord I am especially thankful.

For the people I love, for a year of good health, for a home and family, I'm thankful. For the confidence I have that you are walking along with me every step of the way in my life, I'm thankful. For your love and acceptance, no matter how unlovable I am Lord, I'm thankful.

Dear God I am thankful for so many things that they are too numerous to mention. My heart is full of gratitude and for all my many blessings, for my life, and for your love, I thank you. Because all things come from you.

Walking

I walked two miles at dawn this morning God. I saw your beautiful earth waking from its slumber and the start of a new day. I walked fast, and I could feel my muscles tire, my lungs gasping for air, and my feet wanting to rest. I was grateful for the pain and I rejoiced in that walk, God. Because a year ago it would not have been possible.

God I'm so grateful for my life. I thank you for this past year and all that I've learned in it. I'm so full of appreciation for every single day, for every single step, for the ability to push my body to its absolute limits and feel it burn with exhaustion. I came home from my morning walk and sat in my living room, praising you for the gift that is my life. And asking forgiveness for the years I took it all for granted: my life, my health, my many blessings.

Thank you Lord for all of it. Thank you for the fatigue of a long, busy day and the ache of well used muscles. Thank you for this flawed, unattractive body that I have never loved. Forgive me for that! And Lord may I use this body now for your glory - every day, in every way. Forgive me when I don't feed it properly or exercise it to keep it in the best shape possible.

And Lord, may I never take for granted a day when I can walk quickly for two miles and wear myself out. It's a wonderful thing!

Mysteries

Dear God, your ways are mysterious to me and I don't understand them. I think I have things figured out, that my life makes sense, that everything is falling into place, and then it all falls apart. I feel as though I'm finally getting my act together and the curtain rises unexpectedly, catching me unprepared. Life is such a strange experience - exhilarating one minute and confusing the next.

I'm glad that you're in charge Lord, because I don't know which way to turn most of the time. I need your wisdom because on my own I am unable to make decisions and can't find my way through the maze. Thank you for walking with me and helping me find my way. When I lie awake in the early morning hours, unable to sleep because my mind is so full or angst and worry, thank you for reminding me that although I may be confused and unsure of my way, you are not.

Because your mysterious ways are unknown to me, but they are my comfort.

Discord

Oh God, how your children must grieve you! How sad that your people cannot work together in peace, but allow the enemy to use them to tear your church apart, to demoralize their brothers and sisters, and to stand in the way of your work. How your children must grieve you.

Lord save us from ourselves. Show us your way and help us overcome the enemy, working together to move forward with your message of love. Help us to reflect you to the world and reach out to those who need you.

Oh God please help us to overcome the challenges of dealing with our people.

Oh God, how your children must grieve you!

Good day

Today it's so good to be alive, God. It's a beautiful day and life is good.

But I'm especially grateful, Lord, that every day is a good day to be alive. Because every day has become a gift to me after so many years of taking them for granted. Every day I can get out of bed and make a contribution to the wold makes me thankful. I will never again fail to see how lucky I am to be alive.

When it rains I'm grateful for the gift of water for the earth. When it snows I'll look out over the beautiful winter blanket and think about how beneath it all are the roots of sleeping plants preparing for the earth to warm up. And I'll be grateful for a day to sit inside and enjoy the comfort of a warm house. When the spring awakens the crocuses and daffodils I'll rejoice in the beauty coming out of the ground. And when the sun is so warm we need to escape it, I'll be thanking you for the joy of living near the ocean. I've learned to find the blessing is everything and I thank you for that Lord.

Today it's a good day to be alive, Lord.

This amazing body

Lord how amazing is this creation of yours, this human body of mine? How incredible that I can have surgery one day and then watch in wonder as this body heals itself, slowly mending cells and stitching itself together, skin becoming strong and secure and muscles gaining power and bulk as time goes by. How blessed are we that we can be in bed one day, feeling as though we will never be well again, and only a few days later feel the touch of your hand as we heal, and find ourselves able to move freely, rejoicing in the miracle of life.

How amazing is this creation of yours God - this frail, sturdy, weak, strong, flawed, perfect body of mine.

Tired of the grind...

God I'm tired of the grind of my "new" life. I'm so grateful to be feeling good and know I'm doing well, but Lord - I'm weary of doctor's offices and medical tests and all that goes along with this new life. I'm tired of the hours spent in my car, of the hours spent in waiting rooms, of the wasted time and money spent on tests, of the pain and inconvenience of being stuck with needles and lying in uncomfortable positions in MRI machine - and fighting traffic to get to all those appointments. I just want my old life back Lord.

Forgive me for being impatient and for wanting what I cannot have. I'm not unappreciative of my life God and I'm so grateful for the year I've had. I celebrate my life and I thank you for every day of it. Every day is a gift and I know that. Please keep reminding me Lord, when I sit at the lab having blood work, or lie in a machine being tested - remind me how lucky I am to be there. And I will continue to be grateful.

Overwhelming

What can I do when life seems overwhelming God? There are days when I'm buried in things to do and I think things could never get harder. There are times when terrible things happen and it all seems insurmountable and sad I want to crawl into my bed and never come out. And I wonder how I'm supposed to cope Lord.

Then I remember that you are the one who will help me overcome. You are the one who is there for me to lean on. You are the only one who can help me put one foot in front of the other and keep on going. And you can also help me do it with joy. Because the joy that comes with your presence can make it possible to go on. And the knowledge of you gives us motivation to move forward. Because there is nothing we can face that you have not been through and there is nothing we will go through alone.

Thank you for helping me get through this day Lord. And thank you for helping me get through this life.

Joy

What a beautiful day, Lord! the sun was shining, the sky was blue and cloudless, and the earth seemed to be singing your praises just as you said it would. It was a wonderful day to be alive and I'm so grateful to be.

God your creation is awesome. Every flower, every ocean wave, every little child shout out your glory. And a day like today, when your hand is visible in every direction, makes me turn my heart to you in praise. I'm so grateful for my life and the blessings that I have. I am overwhelmed by it all.

Thank you Lord for this beautiful day. Thank you for reminding me how blessed we all are to live in this amazing world and partake of your gifts. Thank you for all of it Lord.

Daylight

It's a new day God and its beautiful. The sun is just coming up over the trees, the air is cool and comfortable, it's quiet in my normally busy neighborhood, and life is good. Because it's a new day and it's beautiful.

Thank you God for this past year-and-a-half and the way it's changed my life. I've such a new appreciation for the blessings I have and for the life I've been given. I'm so grateful for every little thing that makes life special - the laugh of a child, the warm smile of a friend, the touch of a loved one, and beautiful mornings. I approach each day with a positive attitude because I know how lucky I am to be healthy and feel good. It's as though I've been re-born physically, and I'm so grateful.

Dear Lord let me fully enjoy this day! Allow me to take the negative things that may be part of it and learn from them. Enable me to live with enthusiasm and not just sleep-walk my life away. Help me to be a better person and to make my life as much a gift to others as it is to me. May I give my all to you every moment and may I do your will with love. And most of all, Lord, make me truly grateful for every day because every day is beautiful.

There are days

Oh there are days Lord. Oh there surely are days.

Some days, like today for instance, nothing seems to go quite right. I make the wrong choices, I say the wrong things, and everything I try to do goes wrong. I don't know why it happens and I can't predict it, but it seems to happen on the heels of a really good day, when everything goes right and good things are accomplished. Is there a connection God? Does the enemy see things going well and zero in on your child so there are roadblocks and things just don't go as smoothly as possible? I wonder about that. I also wonder if it's my own fault because when things are going well I tend not to depend so heavily on you. and yet you want us to always lean on you and always seek your guidance. Forgive me for ever depending on my own strength or wisdom, for I will always fall short.

There are days like this Lord and I learn from them. May there always be days like this.

Summer days

God I hear you in the summer days. I hear your voice in the songs of the birds in the morning, I see your hand in the sight of the fireflies in the evening, and everywhere I am reminded of what a wonderful gift the world is. Seeing what surrounds us, experiencing life, and not recognizing your hands at work would be like eating a gourmet meal at a fine restaurant and wondering whether there was a chef involved. I cannot question your presence because it's everywhere, all around me. And it's glorious!

Thank you Lord for your beautiful creation. Thank you for the blessings of this world, for the special places we enjoy and for the people who make our lives rich and full of love.

Surrounded

I am loving this time of the year, Lord, when we are living outside and spending lots of time together - I'm surrounded by my family and enjoying life so much. What a difference a year makes!

Last year I was barely able to function as I worked through the process of fighting my disease. I was doing chemotherapy, my iron was so low they had me taking three iron supplements a day, and I felt like a wrung out dish cloth. This year I feel like a new person, with energy and vitality and a true love of life. God I am so grateful!

Nothing gives us an appreciation of life the way a brush with death does. And nothing makes us appreciate feeling good the way feeling lousy does. And I'm grateful for those reminders that things do not always go smoothly here on earth. Sometimes there is heartache and sometimes there is pain. Sometimes we cry out for your presence just to get us through the day. And often times we take the blessings we have for granted.

Lord, more than anything else I ask that I never again take for granted the joy of a normal, healthy day. Please remind me God that it's not always something to be had and that those of us who do are blessed beyond words. I am eternally grateful for your touch on my life.

The Unknown

There is so much fear in the unknown God. It's the fear that eats away at our confidence and at the peace that you want us to have. And the fear of what could happen or might happen or possibly will happen - well that really is the enemy's tool.

Lord save me from my fear of the unknown. Help me to lean totally on you and not on my own poor strength. Know my heart, Lord, and bolster my faith when it's weak and I'm feeling vulnerable and alone. I'm yours Lord - help me to act like it. I trust in you God - help me to hang on to that trust. I now your promises - may I never forget them.

Help me to conquer my fear of the unknown God. It's such a hard thing to do.

Bathed in prayer

I had a challenge today Lord and I knew that the whole while I was being bathed in prayer. I knew my family was praying for me, and my friends, and my church family. And Lord, I felt those prayers as they rose heavenward. I could literally feel you holding me in your arms and comforting me. I could hear you whispering in my ear, comforting me, reassuring me, encouraging me. I knew you were right there with me and I knew that the prayers of so many people were accompanying me.

Dear God thank you for answered prayer. Thank you for being so real and so near that your presence can be palpable. Thank you for never leaving us or forsaking us. And thank you for your love.

Another day

I'm so full of gratitude today God. I'm grateful for your faithfulness in good times and in bad. I'm grateful for the way the sun comes up, regardless of what's happening in our lives, and the world continues to go forward despite our difficulties. I'm grateful for the message that we are a very small part of the puzzle of life - but that you are always, infinitely in charge of it all.

Thank you for the confidence I have in your love. Thank you that when I worry about my children, or my grandchildren, or any of the people I love so dearly, you gently remind me that you love them even more. Thank you for making sure I feel your hand on my shoulder when I am discouraged and for sensing your presence when I am feeling most alone.

God I am humbled by your love and inspired by your grace. Thank you for another day.

Beautiful Day

It's a beautiful day Lord and it almost seems as though all of nature is raising its hands to you in praise. The sun is shining and the sky is a beautiful shade of blue. The birds are singing a song that must make you smile. The flowers are more beautiful that I can imagine. Nature looks toward the heavens and sends its love upward. And so do I.

Thank you for this beautiful day God.

So grateful

God I'm so grateful for the simplest things in life: a beautiful day, enough money to buy something special at the store, my house, my garden - it really is true that the best things are not always the most expensive - or the hardest to achieve. Sometimes they're the things we tend to overlook or barely take notice of. And yet these are the things that make our lives so rich and satisfying.

Today Lord I am praising you for the simple, beautiful things in my life. Thank you for my family and the joy they bring me. Thank you for a reliable car to drive . Thank you for food on my table and clothes on my back. Thank you for flowers in my yard and shade under my trees. Thank you for the simple knowledge that every day is a special gift and not to be taken for granted. Thank you, God, for my life.

Calm

A wonderful calm has settled over me God. It's so amazing to me how one day I can be so unsettled and my mind can be such a jumble of confusion and fear, and the next I am totally at peace within your loving arms. Thank you for that Lord. Thank you for the fact that you always come through and never disappoint.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring God, but I do know that whatever it is, we'll walk through it together. I'm blessed by your love and surrounded by people who care. What is there to fear? Oh I know I'll find something Lord, because that's what we humans do. No matter how many times we experience your love or feel your presence, we still worry that the next time we need it won't be there. We are people of doubt Lord. We are people of small faith. But you are a big God and you are ready to fill us when we need to be filled. Tomorrow will bring yet another reason for me to be agitated and fearful. But you'll be there waiting. This I know.

Thank you for this calm day.

Oh Lord

Sometimes Lord I long for your closeness but I don't feel it. I know you're there for me and I know you want to give me that touch....but it doesn't seem to be coming. What am I doing wrong? Am I somehow putting a wall between us? Am I simply not being receptive to your desire to be with me? What am I doing wrong Lord?

Please God - touch me. Please let me feel your loving arms around me and help me get through another day with your peace in my heart. Take my burdens, just as you promised you would. Help my mind to be calm and my soul to be still. I need you so much right now and this is not the time to feel this distance. Please help me break through the darkness and know your presence.

I want to hear from you God. Please speak to me.

Thank you

Thank you God. Thank you for the words I needed to hear in church this morning. Thank you for the scripture and the sermon and the music which seemed chosen for me alone. Thank you for the things which spoke to my heart, for the comfort I found in the message, and for the reassurance that you are with me, you are enveloping me, and you are loving me.....always.

It's so easy, Lord, to feel alone and frightened. But its also such a simple things to allow you to fill us with your spirit and give us your peace. So why is that so hard sometimes? It's one of the mysteries of faith God. But it's also one of the great truths that we can fully depend on you. And you will not disappoint.

Why is it that no matter how many times I learn that lesson it seems to need re-learning for the next crisis. We humans are complicated creatures. But your love is simple. Thank you God.

Schedules

I want to give you my schedule Lord. I want you to look it over, sort it out, and tell me what I must do and what I should let go. I need you to help me prioritize and get through my days with less stress and more joy. I need you to help me with my commitments and show me what I need to to let go.

Dear God life is such a challenge sometimes! I know you never promised us an easy road and I know that challenges help us focus and make us think. But Lord sometimes that's so hard! If I could just hand you my calendar so you could mark it for me: "important", "not important", "keep", "let go" - well that would simplify my life God.

I supposed you would say that I wouldn't be learning anything then. I know you want me to make these decisions on my own with the wisdom of your teachings in mind. I know you want me to be in charge. But I'm tired Lord and sometimes the decisions are really difficult to make. I don't like to say "no" and I don't like to disappoint people.

And I don't like to disappoint you. OK I hear you Lord. I'll go back and look at my calendar again and make more room for you too.

One of those days

Oh - this was one of those days God! One of those trying days where everything goes wrong and you wonder what you did to deserve it all. The septic system is backed up, the carpenter didn't show up again, the traffic was horrendous, money ran short for groceries...well....you get the idea.

There are days like this, Lord. There are days when I just want to throw up my hands and cry to the sky "Why?"

But then, well, I stop long enough to remember that I have a septic system to go bad. There are others in the world who don't even have a roof over their heads at night. And I think about the fact that I have a car to drive so a little traffic shouldn't be such an annoyance. And I seem to have enough food that I need to lose weight so being short a week isn't going to hurt anyone. For every point there is a counterpoint. For every negative, a positive.

Tomorrow is another day God. And it will bring challenges of its own. And also blessings.

So tired

I'm so tired God. It's been a long day and my back aches, my feet hurt, and my head is swimming. I've put in a long day, I've worked hard, and I need to just chill.

Dear Lord thank you for days like this. Thank you for good health and a busy life, for being alive and knowing how blessed I am. Thank you for days like this when my aching body reminds me of how important it is to keep getting up at 5:30 in the morning to go to the gym, and for making sure I fuel my body with the right food and drink. Thank you for allowing me a glimpse of life without a strong body, so I can fully appreciate the difference.

I'm so tired God. And I'm so happy to be tired.

After the rain

It's the day after the rain and God, it's beautiful! The world looks freshly washed and the air is crisp and cool and the rain has made me feel invigorated. I want to get out into the world and do things. I want to enjoy life to its fullest. I want to feel the warmth of the sun and walk in the green grass and feel alive.

Alive, God. What a glorious way to feel. How wonderful to feel good and want to do things. What a blessing it is to be able to make the most of every day. I am beyond blessed, God, and I'm so grateful.

Yesterday it rained but today the sun is shining. Thank you for reminding us that if we are patient, the sun comes out and warms us up again. And if life sometimes brings us rain, it's because it's all part of the deal. Rain and sun, snow and wind, flowers and trees, love and blessings: I've known them all, God, and I'm grateful for each of them. Only through the tough times do we learn to appreciate the amazingly special ones.

Danger zone

Dear God why is it that despite your many warnings to us in scripture, I still seem to open my mouth and put my foot in it on a regular basis? Why is that I can't seem to manage to keep this mouth shut more often and then keep my thoughts to myself rather than feel the need to share them with others? And why, oh why, do I have such a knack for annoying people when I'm trying to help? I think I'm doing something good - and it turns out to be bad. Oh God, sometimes I'm such a dunce!

God I know you want to inhabit me in every way. I know you want to control my thoughts, my tongue, my actions, my everything. Help me to stop and think before I express my feelings or offer an opinion. Help me to allow you to inhabit my being and take control. And help me to just be silent when silence is what is needed. Help me to realize that not saying anything at all can sometimes help accomplish your will and that sitting back and not doing anything can actually be a good thing. Because no action is better than the wrong action. And nothing said is better than the wrong thing.

Most of all God, fill me with your spirit, that my words might be your words and my thoughts your thoughts. Empty "me" and fill me with "you". Oh God - save me from myself!

Life

Well God once again I am scratching my head at life. There are just so many things that I don't understand. So many injustices, so many mysteries, so many conundrums - I can only put my trust in you because I have no trust in anything else.

Life can be exhilarating, puzzling, joyous, wonderful...and a complete mess. It can also be satisfying, comforting, difficult, and unmanageable. It's something new each day and never the same twice. Sometimes its the gift I want to give back and others its the gift that keeps on giving. And God, I need you every day to take me through it. Thank you God for my life.

Sun

The sun is so bright this morning that it hurts my eyes. It's coming in the windows across from where I'm sitting and I'm trying hard to resist the urge to go close the shades. Because I'm loving the warmth and the light and I don't want to block it off. Better to change my seat.

God, I love the sun when we've had days and days of rain. It's like your promise to Noah, reminding us that the sun will indeed always follow the rain, and bring smiles to every one's face. And at this time of the year, when the heat has been turned off but the temperature is still chilly in the mornings, it can warm me right up if I go sit in it, steaming into the windows. It's comfort and its assuring.

Thank you for the world you've given us God. It's truly a wonderful creation and an expression of your love. I'm going outside to enjoy the sun today.

Quiet

God its so quiet here right now. Sometimes the quiet scares me. It makes me feel vulnerable and alone and it makes me confront your voice. I cannot escape the thoughts in my head and I'm not distracted by anything at all. I'm alone with you and that can be frightening. Because even though I believe you inhabit my being and know my thoughts, being face to face with that reality isn't easy. I want to hide from you sometimes and truly be by myself.

God...its so quiet here right now. What is it that you want to say?

Days

It's been a long and busy day Lord, and its not over yet. I still have a meeting and then a class to attend - and I don't want to go to either. I want to put my feet up and curl into a ball on my couch and just rest, Lord, because I'm weary and worn.

I know, Lord. I hear you telling me to stop and remember: remember how I felt one year ago and how I longed to feel well enough to be able to have a busy day. And remember how hard it was to get up off the couch and how little I left the house and how sad that was. Forgive me, Lord, for not celebrating life by gladly getting up and doing the things I need to do. Forgive me for allowing a long and busy day to overshadow the gratitude I have for my life and the fact that I am healthy and I feel good.

Remind me, God, that when I pray for something I need to embrace all that goes with it! And forgive me when I don't.

Old hymns

We sang old hymns in church today God and I was so grateful. I felt as though I'd been touched by your hand as I let my voice carry those wonderful words toward heaven and my mind was free to worship amidst the glory of the music.

Don't get me wrong, Lord. I do enjoy contemporary music and I like the challenge of a new hymn or praise song occasionally. But God, when I can sing one of the old familiar hymns, when the words and music are so well known to me that I don't have to even look at the hymnal but can let my voice soar and my heart smile with the blessing of it, I feel especially content. Today all the songs we sang at church were ones I know like I know the back of my hand. And I closed my eyes and immersed myself in each one like I was in the presence of a dear old friend who would envelope me in their arms and remind me of where I've been and how far I've come.

We sang old hymns in church today God and I was so grateful.

Spring

My world is awash in the beauty of the springtime God - and Its glorious. In every direction I see signs of new life, and the wonder of it all is breathtaking. I'm in awe of the trees and bushes as they suddenly go from being brown, lifeless skeletons to lovely sculptures punctuated by pink, lavender, and white. This is an amazing world God. And it's a wonderful gift to your people.

Thank you God for speaking to me through your still, small voice in the winter. Thank you for speaking to me with shouts of color and life in the spring. I listen for your voice and I hear it in all its various forms. And spring is so full of your voice that I can barely hear anything else.

Easter gratitude

I remember many years ago when we celebrated the first Easter after the death of a good friend's child. Suddenly the promise of life that Easter brings had meaning I had never grasped before.

I remember just a few years ago when my mother died and I celebrated the first Easter since her death. Tears ran down my face as I lifted it to God in gratitude for the gift of eternal life.

I remember last year when I was recovering from surgery and grateful for my life on earth and I celebrated Easter with a new appreciation for God's grace and provision.

Again I celebrate Easter and again God I thank you for your Easter promise. I thank you for your glorious resurrection and what it means to us who struggle here on earth. And I thank you for reminding us every year, as Easter once again brings hope and joy into our hearts, that you have made us an Easter people. Thank you for loving us.

Blessings

When I watch my grandchildren playing in my living room I realize I am beyond blessed. When I visit the doctor and he says I am doing well I know I have been touched by your hand. When I look around my world and see what a glorious place it is I am filled with gratitude.

Dear God may I never be so caught up in the things of life that I fail to see the what makes it so special. Please help me to be cognizant of the awesome world around me, of the things my life is filled with, and with the gift that life is. God, I'm so grateful for every good gift, and I'm patient when things are not going well because I know there are lessons to be learned and I'll be a better person for them. Thank you for teaching me the truth of your love.

God thank you. I am blessed and I am grateful.

Search me O God

The Lenten reading was Psalm 139 - one of my favorites. I've already highlighted most of the verses in my Bible. It reminds me that you know everything about me God, and that nothing I do surprises you. I'm so grateful for that familiarity Lord. I so need you to know my mind and my spirit.

I wish I were more perfect God. I wish I had your eyes and your mind and your spirit. I struggle to get through my days with your will in mind. But God, you already know that, don't you?

Thank you for knowing my heart God. Thank you for the intimate knowledge you have of my being. And most of all, thank you thank you for loving me anyway.

Snow

The snow is beautiful God. And it always, always makes me praise you. Because it's like watching an artist create a beautiful painting, a little touch here, a bit more there - I'm watching you highlight the perfection of your creation and cause us all to gasp in awe of it. I'm astouded by your glory.

As the snow falls it's difficult to take my eyes off it and get anything done. I spend a good deal of my time looking out the window. Because I feel closer to you and get the sense that I'm participating in a miracle. I may be only an observer, but I'm totally encompassed by it all.

Thank you God for the snow. And for the incredible world you've given us.

Longing

Dear Lord, there are times I just long so for your peace. I know its there waiting for me and I'm reaching out to grasp it...yet it seems to be eluding me right now. My mind goes places I want to avoid and the enemy surrounds me on every side. I read the Pslams and I know how David felt! It's discouraging and annoying and I want it to end.

Please send me your peace God. I covet it. I need it. I cry for it. And you have promised it.

Calm my restless spirit and ease my mind. Remind me that I have nothing to fear because I am in your hands. Keep me in your presence in a way that's palpable. I'm lonely in my heart because no one else knows what turmoil is there.

Dear Lord, I long for your peace.