Empathy

Sometimes God, empathy can be such a gift. When we share our experiences with others it allows us to feel their pain and sorrow and know their grief or joy. Our hearts connect in a unique way when we know what they are going through.

But sometimes God it is so painful! To relive those difficult times, to feel our insides twist and contract with the re-imagining of those moments. And to know the road they are heading down. It is hard God!

I know that empathy is a gift you give us, to inform us as we attempt to be your reflection here on earth, to have your eyes and heart and to touch others with your love. But it is a mixed blessing Lord and a burden to bear.

You have promised to help us bear our burdens. I am counting on that right now, as always.

Heartaches

My heart aches again God. I know you are there for me and I know you want to share my burdens, but right now I don't feel that presence the way I want to. My burdens feel heavy and I don't see the light at the end of this tunnel. And I feel guilty for having an aching heart when my blessings are many.

Help me to feel your presence Lord. I long for your touch and I need your arms around me. I want to know you're there. I believe it, but I want to feel it. Just like Thomas I want to touch your wounds and know you are real.

Forgive my lack of faith Lord. And guide me out of the dark.

Scripture - the gift that keeps on giving...

When I am discouraged and feel the slings and arrows of the world, I find comfort in your words. Thank you Lord.

Deuteronomy 3:22
Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you.

Helpless

Sometimes the most difficult times are the ones where we have no choices. Lord, what do we do when there's nothing to be done?

Watching people die, seeing loved ones suffer, observing things that can only turn out badly - God how  are we supposed to help? What are we supposed to do when there is nothing to do?

I think it's those times that are the most frustrating God. I want to help. I want to intervene. I want to say the right thing. And I can't do anything.

Dear God help me to deal with not being able to deal.

Beauty all around

There is something about the autumn God. There is something about the beauty in the leaves and the crisp fresh air. I feel renewed and I feel alive in the autumn.

How is it that you created a world where death can be so beautiful? I think this was a not-so-well hidden message, wasn't it Lord? We are people who need visual lessons and we need to see things in ways we can comprehend. Perhaps that death can be beautiful and is not the end, but only a process leading to a new beginning.  I see it in the fall God. And your creation tells the story.

Everywhere I look you are God. In the golds, reds, and yellows of the leaves. And in the glory of the season where we prepare for the dark and cold of winter, only to re-emerge in the joy of another spring.

Your creation teaches us if only we are willing to learn from it.

Peace

"Be at peace with all men". That's something my mother used to quote from the Bible all the time. So I have tried to live that God. And I wonder, how is it exactly we're supposed to do that?

I mean, we can do all the good things in the world, and one person can come along and lie about you, or try to cheat you, or do any one of a number of things....none of which are deserved...so how are we supposed to keep peace with them exactly? How is it possible to keep peace with someone who wants to be at war?

Its an age old dilemma. Some people want war. Some people don't want to be at peace with anyone. And we're told to be at peace with them.

Some things are really hard to understand God...

People

Dear God your people exasperate me! Why is it that people - humans created in your image - can be so toxic? I see them being divisive and evil! I cringe when they cause strife and stress among others. It saddens me when a single one can become the agent for discourse and heartache for many others.

Why is this God? Why are we such horrible creatures? How can beings that are yours, and especially ones who claim your grace, be so? I seek to know Lord. I need your wisdom God. I need to see how we can overcome and prevail. I know....with your strength we can do all things. But why should we have to? Why can't you just keep your children under more control?

Oh well. I suppose we can only look forward to the day that evil is vanquished. I long for it now God, when people are such a discouraging factor in life. Even so Lord, come!

Night

Another sleepless night Lord. Another nights of prayer and thought, worry and fear, tossing and turning. They are such long nights Lord!

I wonder sometimes if you want to speak to me in the dark for a reason God. Is this the best time for me to listen? Am I less distracted, more in tune, ready to listen? Is it only because my mind can grab hold of whatever it is and mull it over in peace? I don't know the reason, but I do know some of my most heartfelt yearnings come to light when I talk with you in the darkest part of the night. And as tired as I am the next day, I'm grateful for the time with you.

I'll be tired today Lord. I'll be longing for sleep by this afternoon and I hope tonight you grant it. But I'm grateful for the time we spent together last night and empowered by the spiritual awakening.

Earth love

I am so in love with your creation God. This earth, our home, continues to define the word "awe" for me and I never fail to gasp a little when I come upon some of the beauty all around me.

This season is especially beautiful. The recent full moon, coming up as though out of the ocean as brightly orange colored as though it had been a piece of fruit, moving almost fast enough for the naked eye to observe, and then showing all its glory as it shone bright white in the night sky, sending glittery reflections across the water in a shimmer of diamond dust.

And today, this early morning as the sun rose and the air felt crisp and clean, I watched in amazement as the light crept across the open field and turned the dawn into the day.

This may only be my temporary home Lord, but I am grateful that you have made it as perfect and lovely as possible. I can only imagine what you have in store for the second act!

Heartache

Lord sometimes my heart aches with the burden of relationships. They are hard to maintain and we humans are fragile beings! Love is not always enough to keep us from hurting one another or being hurt ourselves. And the more we love the more painful it is. And yet you tell us to love! And you show us love! And you want us to open our hearts to others. That means being open to pain. I so resist that Lord!

Dear God give me the wisdom I need to be the person who heals and secures relationships, not the one who harms them. Help me know what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and most importantly when to say nothing at all. These are the hard things Lord!

And when there is damage done, Lord give me the humility to accept the consequences, the grace to do whatever it takes to heal, despite my own hurt, and the satisfaction of knowing I did my best. And may those I love strive for the same.

Friends

God, my heart is aching for a friend in trouble. She came to me today with tears in her eyes and a breaking heart because of the bad news she had received from the doctor. Her spirit is broken and her soul is searching for comfort. And peace. And I'm striving to help her.

I can hold her Lord, I can be your arms around her but I cannot touch her heart - only you can do that. I'm coming to you on my knees God, asking you to reach out to her and make her aware of your presense. May she feel you surrounding her with your love and know your grace and comfort.

Dear God my friend needs you now. Needs you always. Especially now. And I need you too Lord. Fill us both with your love. Please.

Motivation

Lord there are times I just can't get myself motivated.

I don't take my life for granted God, and I'm not a lazy person. So then why are there days when I just feel as though I don't want to do anything? How can I feel so "unmotivated" and not want to do more than write all day, or read a book, or do mostly nothing?

Maybe I just need to channel those feelings, is that it Lord? Should I spend my day reading significant things, delving into the scriptures, looking at books about how I can better serve you or improve my spiritual walk. Perhaps I should make those lazy days into "self-examination" days and spend time meditating on important things. I can pray more, study more, think more.

Maybe the times when I'm feeling the least motivated are the times you want me to sit and do nothing. Maybe you're trying to tell me that its just as important to rest mind and body as it is to accomplish things. Maybe...just maybe you're motivating me to make use of my lack of motivation. Hummmm.....I may be onto something here.

Thank you Lord!

A new day

The cool fresh air is coming in my windows and September is enveloping me with its glory. Thank you God for the change of seasons!

I love the cooler days and nights of September and I've grown weary of the heat and humidity of August. I welcome the change and look forward to another season with anticipation, planning for the holidays and recharging my batteries. It's been a wonderful summer God and life is good. I am blessed to be enjoying it with renewed enthusiasm and an appreciation for life I never had before. I feel so content just to be here, and just to be alive.

Thank you for bringing me to this place of contentment and joy. And thank you for the beauty of September, Lord. Each day is going to be a really good one!

Grief

Dear God sometimes life seems so unfair! A young person cut down in the prime of their life - 47 years old - vital, alive, talented, beautiful. Why Lord?

There are so many questions in life Lord. Sometimes - like now - they keep me awake at night and I struggle to understand the reasons. But I know we will never understand the reasons and are left to trust and live in faith. We cannot possibly know why and we will never be able to see your plan as long as we are tethered to this earth and our own human minds.

Someday I look forward to having some answers. Some day I look forward to communing with you and knowing that all is well. Sometimes the questions are so hard to get beyond. But I lean on the understanding that you are a loving God and you are in control.

Thank you for that God.

Turmoil

My head is in turmoil Lord. Not my heart - my heart is content in the knowledge of your love; not my soul - my soul is at peace. But dear God my mind is in a hard place and I long for your touch.

Sometimes life is so hard and we feel so alone in the world. Even knowing your love and concern for us isn't enough because we fear the unknown: our fragile hearts break with pain and our earthly bodies deteriorate with age. We hurt and we ache and we grieve. But we still know the joy of the Lord. It's a dichotomy and a puzzle.

God I pray for a mind at ease with my life on earth and a soul that can continue to know peace in the midst of the storm. The storms are here Lord. I'm looking for shelter - I need to come into port.

Sleepless

Dear God its after one in the morning and I'm wide awake. My mind is troubled with things you understand Lord and I lay then at your feet because they're too heavy a burden for me to carry. Take it God. Please give me that peace that I've found in your presence so many times before. Allow my mind to rest and let you take over. Dear God I need to sleep.

I feel the enemy at work God. I've lost my armor and I'm too vulnerable. I can't withstand the slings and arrows alone. I will not survive.

Thank you God for the promise of your presence. I know you are here even when I cannot feel you. I am ready to rest in you. Please let me rest in you.

Rain

The rain is falling softly this morning Lord and it reminds me of the way you speak to me in the quiet hours: no shouting, no pleading, just a gentle, soft voice telling me what I need to hear. I love to listen to you Lord and I welcome your voice. Sometimes I know I'm too distracted to stop and listen.

This rain is so quiet as it waters the ground, bringing life and color to the world around me. So your voice brings life and color to my life - if I listen, if I respond, and I know I'll be better for it. I may need to change the way I'm doing something, or the way I'm treating someone. Or perhaps I need to change the direction in my life or in my thoughts. I may be forgetting something that I should remember. Whatever it is God, I'm grateful for your reminders.

I ask God that you never stop speaking to me, even though sometimes it seems as though I'm not listening. Just as this soft, quiet, gentle rain is working miracles, so are miracles done in my life everytime I bother to listen. Thank you for never giving up on me.

Spring again

Oh God how amazing is the Spring! Every year it renews my wonder when I see the bulbs coming up and flowering, the trees budding and bursting forth, and the grass greening up every day. It's such a perfect showing of renewal and hope, of joy and wonder, of new life appearing in every direction.

Your world is glorious Lord. Thank you for making it the beautiful place that it is. And thank you for the blessing we find in the seasons, each following the other, one more wondrous than the other. Our hearts rise upwards with gratitude and we luxuriate in your grace.

Rejoice!

Dear God I am rejoicing in your creation and enjoying the world! The sun is shining, the birds have begun to sing in the morning once again, and the air is teasing us with the promise of Spring. Change is in the air and its invigorating, it makes us smile, and it gives us something to look forward to.

Your world is so full of promise Lord and we are grateful for that. We look forward to the seasons, to the gifts of the ground and the beautiful blue sky, the stars in the night and the light of a full mooon - there is so much to celebrate! And now, as spring approaches once again, we glory in your wonderful world as we see it come back to life, green grass ready to grow, flowers bursting to bud, trees nearly ready to pop open - its a show for the ages and we get to watch it over and over again, year in and year out, each time with a renewed enthusiasm and joy.

Thank you God for your perfect world.

2011

Dear God, another year is here. I have a brand new calendar, with so many blank pages, ready to be filled with the appointments, the work, the birthdays, the celebrations, and all the other things that make up our daily lives. I will write times and places on those pages, and names and lists and smiley faces as I plan my days and weeks and months for the year. I love the blank pages on a new calendar because it feels as though I have a blank slate to draw on and everything is new - full of promise. A life to be lived.

Thank you God for this new year. Thank you for the chance to start fresh, to make new memories and turn in new directions. Thank you for another chance to make a difference in the world. God give me the wisdom to know how to fill those days and how to keep my priorities in order. And Lord, thank you for this life of mine. May it not be an empty one - but one that is honoring to you.

Dear God, another year is here. As those pages quickly fill, may they be covered with life.