2011

Dear God, another year is here. I have a brand new calendar, with so many blank pages, ready to be filled with the appointments, the work, the birthdays, the celebrations, and all the other things that make up our daily lives. I will write times and places on those pages, and names and lists and smiley faces as I plan my days and weeks and months for the year. I love the blank pages on a new calendar because it feels as though I have a blank slate to draw on and everything is new - full of promise. A life to be lived.

Thank you God for this new year. Thank you for the chance to start fresh, to make new memories and turn in new directions. Thank you for another chance to make a difference in the world. God give me the wisdom to know how to fill those days and how to keep my priorities in order. And Lord, thank you for this life of mine. May it not be an empty one - but one that is honoring to you.

Dear God, another year is here. As those pages quickly fill, may they be covered with life.

Nights

Dear Lord another sleepless night is behind me.

Why is it Lord that although I have given my life to you and trust you to do with it what you will, I still agonize over my future? How can I give lip service to abiding in your love and having peace in the midst of the storms and still feel the stress of the unknown? Why can I not rest in you fully and sleep with the peace that passes all understanding?

Forgive me God for the times I cannot turn my burdens over to you and rest easy. Forgive me for my human nature and the fact that I cannot turn it aside. Forgive me for my stress and worry.

And God, may tonight be a better night. May I sleep in the peace and comfort of your arms. And may I let go of the things that prey on my heart and undermine my spirit. Make your presence so real to me that it's palpable, that I can feel it - and not forget it. Ever.

Gratitude

In this, the season of gratitude, Lord I am especially thankful.

For the people I love, for a year of good health, for a home and family, I'm thankful. For the confidence I have that you are walking along with me every step of the way in my life, I'm thankful. For your love and acceptance, no matter how unlovable I am Lord, I'm thankful.

Dear God I am thankful for so many things that they are too numerous to mention. My heart is full of gratitude and for all my many blessings, for my life, and for your love, I thank you. Because all things come from you.

Walking

I walked two miles at dawn this morning God. I saw your beautiful earth waking from its slumber and the start of a new day. I walked fast, and I could feel my muscles tire, my lungs gasping for air, and my feet wanting to rest. I was grateful for the pain and I rejoiced in that walk, God. Because a year ago it would not have been possible.

God I'm so grateful for my life. I thank you for this past year and all that I've learned in it. I'm so full of appreciation for every single day, for every single step, for the ability to push my body to its absolute limits and feel it burn with exhaustion. I came home from my morning walk and sat in my living room, praising you for the gift that is my life. And asking forgiveness for the years I took it all for granted: my life, my health, my many blessings.

Thank you Lord for all of it. Thank you for the fatigue of a long, busy day and the ache of well used muscles. Thank you for this flawed, unattractive body that I have never loved. Forgive me for that! And Lord may I use this body now for your glory - every day, in every way. Forgive me when I don't feed it properly or exercise it to keep it in the best shape possible.

And Lord, may I never take for granted a day when I can walk quickly for two miles and wear myself out. It's a wonderful thing!

Mysteries

Dear God, your ways are mysterious to me and I don't understand them. I think I have things figured out, that my life makes sense, that everything is falling into place, and then it all falls apart. I feel as though I'm finally getting my act together and the curtain rises unexpectedly, catching me unprepared. Life is such a strange experience - exhilarating one minute and confusing the next.

I'm glad that you're in charge Lord, because I don't know which way to turn most of the time. I need your wisdom because on my own I am unable to make decisions and can't find my way through the maze. Thank you for walking with me and helping me find my way. When I lie awake in the early morning hours, unable to sleep because my mind is so full or angst and worry, thank you for reminding me that although I may be confused and unsure of my way, you are not.

Because your mysterious ways are unknown to me, but they are my comfort.

Discord

Oh God, how your children must grieve you! How sad that your people cannot work together in peace, but allow the enemy to use them to tear your church apart, to demoralize their brothers and sisters, and to stand in the way of your work. How your children must grieve you.

Lord save us from ourselves. Show us your way and help us overcome the enemy, working together to move forward with your message of love. Help us to reflect you to the world and reach out to those who need you.

Oh God please help us to overcome the challenges of dealing with our people.

Oh God, how your children must grieve you!

Good day

Today it's so good to be alive, God. It's a beautiful day and life is good.

But I'm especially grateful, Lord, that every day is a good day to be alive. Because every day has become a gift to me after so many years of taking them for granted. Every day I can get out of bed and make a contribution to the wold makes me thankful. I will never again fail to see how lucky I am to be alive.

When it rains I'm grateful for the gift of water for the earth. When it snows I'll look out over the beautiful winter blanket and think about how beneath it all are the roots of sleeping plants preparing for the earth to warm up. And I'll be grateful for a day to sit inside and enjoy the comfort of a warm house. When the spring awakens the crocuses and daffodils I'll rejoice in the beauty coming out of the ground. And when the sun is so warm we need to escape it, I'll be thanking you for the joy of living near the ocean. I've learned to find the blessing is everything and I thank you for that Lord.

Today it's a good day to be alive, Lord.