Limbo

God, I really hate this time of "limbo" in my life. It reminds me of those years just before I got married when I was trying to figure out where I was going and how my life was going to unfold. I am a person who likes order and structure in my life. I want to look at a calendar and see how the next weeks and months lay out. It gives me the illusion of some control. I hate not knowing what tomorrow is going to bring, even though I can logically say none of us ever knows that. I usually feel as though I know what lies ahead. Right now I feel as though I don't know what the next moment is going to bring - and it makes me feel lost, and afraid.

But I also know that you want us to be totally dependent on you God. I know that sometimes we need to feel helpless in order to be fully yours. And I also know that my feelings of helplessness make me turn to you. And I am content in your care.

Thank you for your constant presence, for your steadfastness, and for your affirming love. I am yours God. And as lost as I may sometimes feel, I know I am not. Because I am always at home in your arms.

He will carry you...

A song that has meant so much to me lately goes like this:

There is no problem too big, God cannot solve it
There is no mountain too tall, God cannot move it
There is no storm so dark, God cannot calm it
There is no sorrow so deep, He cannot soothe it

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my brother that He will carry you
If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my sister that He will carry you

It reminds me that there is nothing that God cannot help us get through. And even in the worst possible circumstances, God is with us, walking beside us, carrying us in His arms, or simply waiting for us on the other side.

Thank you Lord for always being there for me. When nothing else works, when all other relationships disappoint, when the world seems cruel and heartless, I turn around and there you are. You never disappoint, you are always true, and I will always need you.

I'm listening

I'm listening God. I want to learn the lessons you have to teach me through this trial in my life. I'm so grateful for the way you've carried me through these past few months, helping me cope with the difficulties of life. I still need you Lord. I still need to feel your loving arms around me and know that you're walking with me all along the way. I need your presence, I need your peace, and I need your wisdom to be my constant companions. I cannot do this alone.

But you have promised to be with us through every trial in life. You have promised not to let anything happen to us that you cannot help us through. And you've promised that your grace would be sufficient for us, always. Thank you for those promises. Thank you for your grace. And thank you now because I know you are going to be faithful once again, as you always have been in the past. I love you Lord. Thank you for loving me.

Holy Week

Dear Lord, on this holiest of weeks, when we make the walk to the cross with you once again, may we keep our eyes firmly fixed on the truths of your love. And may we recognize again the sacrifices you made on our behalf. When we near the cross give us your eyes, your heart, your soul. Allow us to see the depth of your care for us. And enable us to feel the pain you felt, to know the heartache of rejection and the darkness of the cross.

Lord, thank you for your love, for your unending sacrifice, and for the life you have given us. Thank you that the darkness of Good Friday is followed by the glory of Easter Sunday. Today is Good Friday. But Sunday's coming! Praise God!

Tough days

Lord, I knew there were going to be days like this. I knew that there would be hard days, long days, days of struggle. I know that we cannot expect things to always go smoothly. And yet...I become easily discouraged when those days come.

I'm annoyed at my weaknesses. I hate that I get discouraged and fail to always lean on you. And I find myself expecially annoyed that I can't always find the joy in life. I prefer to choose joy. Some days its just harder to find it than others.

Lord keep me in the hollow of your hands. Allow me to work through the long and dreary days when the sun doesn't shine and I feel as though things may never be the same again. Stay close to my side while I struggle with discouragment and defeat. And remind me that tomorrow is another day and the sun will come out again and everything will look better. Because I know that to be true. I just need reminding now and again.