Limbo

God, I really hate this time of "limbo" in my life. It reminds me of those years just before I got married when I was trying to figure out where I was going and how my life was going to unfold. I am a person who likes order and structure in my life. I want to look at a calendar and see how the next weeks and months lay out. It gives me the illusion of some control. I hate not knowing what tomorrow is going to bring, even though I can logically say none of us ever knows that. I usually feel as though I know what lies ahead. Right now I feel as though I don't know what the next moment is going to bring - and it makes me feel lost, and afraid.

But I also know that you want us to be totally dependent on you God. I know that sometimes we need to feel helpless in order to be fully yours. And I also know that my feelings of helplessness make me turn to you. And I am content in your care.

Thank you for your constant presence, for your steadfastness, and for your affirming love. I am yours God. And as lost as I may sometimes feel, I know I am not. Because I am always at home in your arms.