So tired

I'm so tired God. It's been a long day and my back aches, my feet hurt, and my head is swimming. I've put in a long day, I've worked hard, and I need to just chill.

Dear Lord thank you for days like this. Thank you for good health and a busy life, for being alive and knowing how blessed I am. Thank you for days like this when my aching body reminds me of how important it is to keep getting up at 5:30 in the morning to go to the gym, and for making sure I fuel my body with the right food and drink. Thank you for allowing me a glimpse of life without a strong body, so I can fully appreciate the difference.

I'm so tired God. And I'm so happy to be tired.

After the rain

It's the day after the rain and God, it's beautiful! The world looks freshly washed and the air is crisp and cool and the rain has made me feel invigorated. I want to get out into the world and do things. I want to enjoy life to its fullest. I want to feel the warmth of the sun and walk in the green grass and feel alive.

Alive, God. What a glorious way to feel. How wonderful to feel good and want to do things. What a blessing it is to be able to make the most of every day. I am beyond blessed, God, and I'm so grateful.

Yesterday it rained but today the sun is shining. Thank you for reminding us that if we are patient, the sun comes out and warms us up again. And if life sometimes brings us rain, it's because it's all part of the deal. Rain and sun, snow and wind, flowers and trees, love and blessings: I've known them all, God, and I'm grateful for each of them. Only through the tough times do we learn to appreciate the amazingly special ones.

Danger zone

Dear God why is it that despite your many warnings to us in scripture, I still seem to open my mouth and put my foot in it on a regular basis? Why is that I can't seem to manage to keep this mouth shut more often and then keep my thoughts to myself rather than feel the need to share them with others? And why, oh why, do I have such a knack for annoying people when I'm trying to help? I think I'm doing something good - and it turns out to be bad. Oh God, sometimes I'm such a dunce!

God I know you want to inhabit me in every way. I know you want to control my thoughts, my tongue, my actions, my everything. Help me to stop and think before I express my feelings or offer an opinion. Help me to allow you to inhabit my being and take control. And help me to just be silent when silence is what is needed. Help me to realize that not saying anything at all can sometimes help accomplish your will and that sitting back and not doing anything can actually be a good thing. Because no action is better than the wrong action. And nothing said is better than the wrong thing.

Most of all God, fill me with your spirit, that my words might be your words and my thoughts your thoughts. Empty "me" and fill me with "you". Oh God - save me from myself!

Life

Well God once again I am scratching my head at life. There are just so many things that I don't understand. So many injustices, so many mysteries, so many conundrums - I can only put my trust in you because I have no trust in anything else.

Life can be exhilarating, puzzling, joyous, wonderful...and a complete mess. It can also be satisfying, comforting, difficult, and unmanageable. It's something new each day and never the same twice. Sometimes its the gift I want to give back and others its the gift that keeps on giving. And God, I need you every day to take me through it. Thank you God for my life.

Sun

The sun is so bright this morning that it hurts my eyes. It's coming in the windows across from where I'm sitting and I'm trying hard to resist the urge to go close the shades. Because I'm loving the warmth and the light and I don't want to block it off. Better to change my seat.

God, I love the sun when we've had days and days of rain. It's like your promise to Noah, reminding us that the sun will indeed always follow the rain, and bring smiles to every one's face. And at this time of the year, when the heat has been turned off but the temperature is still chilly in the mornings, it can warm me right up if I go sit in it, steaming into the windows. It's comfort and its assuring.

Thank you for the world you've given us God. It's truly a wonderful creation and an expression of your love. I'm going outside to enjoy the sun today.

Quiet

God its so quiet here right now. Sometimes the quiet scares me. It makes me feel vulnerable and alone and it makes me confront your voice. I cannot escape the thoughts in my head and I'm not distracted by anything at all. I'm alone with you and that can be frightening. Because even though I believe you inhabit my being and know my thoughts, being face to face with that reality isn't easy. I want to hide from you sometimes and truly be by myself.

God...its so quiet here right now. What is it that you want to say?

Days

It's been a long and busy day Lord, and its not over yet. I still have a meeting and then a class to attend - and I don't want to go to either. I want to put my feet up and curl into a ball on my couch and just rest, Lord, because I'm weary and worn.

I know, Lord. I hear you telling me to stop and remember: remember how I felt one year ago and how I longed to feel well enough to be able to have a busy day. And remember how hard it was to get up off the couch and how little I left the house and how sad that was. Forgive me, Lord, for not celebrating life by gladly getting up and doing the things I need to do. Forgive me for allowing a long and busy day to overshadow the gratitude I have for my life and the fact that I am healthy and I feel good.

Remind me, God, that when I pray for something I need to embrace all that goes with it! And forgive me when I don't.