Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas again

No matter how many years I live the Christmas story will never grow old. It's infused with such wonder and awe that every year I hear it as though it were the first time. A baby, a lost world, a loving God - all the elements that we need to hear in our state of constant unrest. Peace on earth - a goal to be sought and nurtured and needed forever.

May this Christmas be as magical to you as it is to me. And if you don't know yet why its such an amazing story, read it again. From the beginning. Perhaps, like me, you'll understand it anew and appreciate it with a new heart. Because every year its told again...just for you...and just for me.

Merry, merry Christmas. And on earth, peace, goodwill, and love.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Now what!

OK God, what do I do when I can't hear you? What do I do when your voice seems to be silent and I'm unsure how to handle a situation or which way to turn? Sometimes the dilemmas of life are so overwhelming - and I just can't be sure what you want me to do.

I guess I just have to keep seeking you God. I hope that if I continue to talk to you, continue to read your word, continue to seek guidance from you, that eventually I'll make the right choices and turn in the right directions. If I abide in you and I walk with you, will I know your heart? Will I see with your eyes? I hope that Lord. I pray that. I need that.

I want to do your will God. I want to walk in your path. I want to follow you and please you and sometimes its so hard to know how to do those things. Help me God.

Friday, October 23, 2009


This time of the year is full of wonder God. The trees are shedding their summer beauty for the stark vision of their winter forms. The flowers are soon to be gone completely, and even the latest bloomers will be only a memory. The sun is still shining and we still feel its warmth, but the air is crisper and colder - and we know the long days of darkness are soon upon us.

I love the seasons God. I love watching as your creation continues its dance with the sun and the moon and all the other glorious pieces of your wonderful universe. I praise you for your constancy and your faithfulness, that we can go to sleep at night knowing that the sun will again make its appearance in the morning and life will go on.

Thank you God for the autumn. Thank you for the beauty that surrounds us and reminds us of your love and your perfect plan. Thank you God for life.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


It's October God and I glory in your creation every year in October! From the beautiful weather to the sights and sounds of the season, I love this month. I find my days filled with praise as I revel in my surroundings and appreciate my full life.

There are disappointments in life, Lord. Sometimes the days are difficult and long and the nights are even longer. But God, there is also joy in this world and, if we care to see it, beauty everywhere. October is your radiance on earth and a gift to your children. From the smallest yellow gourd to the largest red maple tree a rainbow of color greets us wherever we look. And we see the cycle of life in front of us as the leaves begin to cover the ground and the skies turn grayer and the air colder.

Your world is beautiful God. And October is the peak of its beauty.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Morning church

I attended church with my daughter's family today. She attends a large modern church, with guitars instead of an organ and many, many members. It's very different from the form of worship I'm accustomed to, but not something I'm opposed to - it's just different. I loved the messages that I came away with and was spiritually blessed during my worship there. And here are the things I brought home with me:

We sang mostly contemporary music with guitars and drums and worship leaders. Most of the songs I was not familiar with, but at the end of the music portion of worship we did an old familiar hymn (which is one of my favorites) and it spoke to me in new ways today. As I sang the words I've sung many times before, I was touched anew at God's compasion toward me during this particularly difficult year:

When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul!

Though Satan should buffet
though trials should come
Let this blest assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, It is well
It is well, it is well with my soul.

The words which especially touched me this morning were from the second verse: That Christ has regarded my helpless estate and hath shed His own blood for my soul

Have I ever felt as helpless as I have this year? Thank you God for regarding my helpless estate! And thank you that I can sing with assurance that "it is well with my soul"!

The other truth I'm committing to memory is something the pastor spoke:

When we are impotent, God is omnipotent!

I thank God for seeing my impotence...and for His omnipotence.

What a glorious morning of worship it's been. God has spoken to me and I'm so grateful for His clear, strong voice.

Monday, September 7, 2009


Sometimes, Lord, my heart is so full of joy I can barely contain it. I want to shout from the rooftops and run through the streets praising your name. I hold myself back for fear of being thought a fool - but I know I'm not. In fact, I think I'm less a fool than I've ever been. Because I know that my joy is in you. I know you are the author of all that is wonderful and precious in life. And I know that without you I would be lost.

Thank you God for the joy you fill my life with. Thank you for the joy of being in your will. And thank you for life and all its many travails and twists and turns. Mostly Lord, thank you for the joy. Thank you for allowing me to know the joy.

Saturday, August 22, 2009


God, sometimes in the night hours I cannot sleep. I'm so confused about things in my life and I'm searching so hard for answers that sleep will not come. Peace is elusive. My mind is in turmoil. God, help me find answers to my questions. Help me find the peace you promise. Help me to quiet my anxious mind and totally rest in you.

Life is such a puzzle sometimes. We live with people we don't always understand. We work with people that are sometimes difficult. We worship with people we don't always like very much. There is so much to be confused about when the people you think you know the best are total enigmas to you. And when the people you are told to love can be so unlovable. Life is just hard sometimes. We search for answers that don't always come. And we look for things it might not be possible to have.

But I know you are there for me Lord. I know you love me and I know you want me to have life in all its fullness. Thank you Lord for giving me your promises. I can rest in them until sleep returns.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Sometimes life is such a challenge,Lord. Sometimes things just don't go the way we want them to, or we are stymied by the place we find ourselves, or we just can't seem to move forward the way we want to. Sometimes it's our family members who are suffering and we don't know how to help them. Sometimes our friends need help and we are unable to give them what they need. Sometimes life is just so hard God.

We need you so much. We need your wisdom, your guidance, and your helping hand. We need to know you are with us and we need to feel you walking beside us. We need you God. We need you.

Thank you for promising to be with us when we need you. Help us to reach out to you and to always, always seek your will. Help us not to depend on our own strength, but to covet yours. Help us to live like your children, triumphant and content. Help us, Lord.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Feeling good

Dear God what a blessing it is to wake in the morning to a new day, feeling good enough to get out of bed and clean my house or bake a cake - whatever the day holds is OK, I'm ready for it! After going through months of medical issues, including surgery and chemotherapy, I am more and more appreciative of the blessing of feeling good.

So many people suffer every day. So many people fight to get up out of bed and get through their morning. God thank you for my health and for my many, many blessings. May I never take them for granted. May WE never take the blessing of feeling good and being productive and active for granted.

Thank you God for such wonderful days.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Praise and thanksgiving

Dear God how full of gratitude and humility I am at your gracious faithfulness. I stand in awe of the fact that I have completed my treatments, my health is good, my prognosis is excellent - and I feel so good. Thank you God. Thank you God. Thank you God.

I know how unworthy I am to be the recipient of your grace. I know I can never be the kind of person I want to be. I am imperfect and sinful and I long for your perfection. And yet you have given me a new chance to experience life in its fullness. I am your grateful servant.

And regardless of the outcome of my own medical nightmare, I would feel the same way. Because you have been so close to me these past seven months that I have felt your touch, your spirit, and your constant presence with me every single day, throughout the long and lonely nights, and during those times when I felt there was no one else who really cared. You were always there. I always knew it. And I will never forget it.

Thank you for this time of spiritual and physical transformation. Thank you for your love. And thank you for your abiding grace to me, your undeserving child.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

Sunday, July 5, 2009


I'm so grateful every year to celebrate the independence of this country and remember how blessed I am to have been born here. It also reminds me every year that through you I have independence of another sort to be grateful for. I'm free from the bondage of this world and enjoy the glorious freedom of a life lived in your favor. Freedom - such a beautiful thing.

In the Psalms I read "I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts" and in II Corinthians "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" and I know that the concept of "freedom" is one that comes from you, for only through you do we find true freedom. In church this morning we sang "America the Beautiful" wich includes a salutation to you as "author of liberty" and I nodded in acclimation!

Thank you Lord, on this weekend when we in this country celebrate our freedom, I can also celebrate the freedom that you have given me.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Counting down

Three treatments down, one to go. Lord you've been faithfully walking me through my crisis and I've felt your presence with me every step of the way. Thank you for your ever abiding love and presence, and the knowledge that you're in control of all that happens in my life. Knowing you're alongside me makes the loneliest hours tolerable - waiting for tests, sitting in the chair getting chemo, not able to sleep at night or in the early hours of the morning, driving back and forth to Southampton with nothing to do but think...and pray. I've enjoyed those times we've spent together because they reinforce to me that you're my best friend. You're the one who's never too busy, never distracted, always available.

Thank you for being there for me. May I always be here for you - ready, willing and able to do whatever you need me to do for you. And dear God forgive me when I'm not.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


The sun is shining and it is finally a beautiful day. Thank you God!

I'm often reminded of the words to an Andrea Crouch song that says "If I never had a problem, I wouldn't know that He could solve them, I wouldn't know what faith in God could do...". It always makes me realize that it truly is the difficult times in life, the rainy days and the sad things, that make us appreciate the good days and the sunny skies. We'd be so complacent if it were always beautiful outside and we'd never appreciate such beautiful days for the wonderful gift they are.

So thank you God for this beautiful day after so many rainy, overcast, miserable ones!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


God, tonight I cannot sleep. I watch the clock slowly move forward and I spend my time tossing, and turning. I pray, I meditate, I think about your word and the things that it tells me. I seek your guidance and I ask for sleep. And the hours go by.

What can you teach me in the early hours of the day Lord? What can I be learning in this time when there are no distractions and its just you and me? I want you to use this time to speak to me - I am here listening.

Sometimes your still small voice is just too small and I cannot hear it. But I'm listening Lord. Please God. I'm here, I'm ready, and I'm waiting. Speak to me. Teach me. Abide with me. I want you so much...

Thursday, June 4, 2009


I knew the feelings of despair and defeat would pass Lord and I knew you were standing right there beside me holding out your hand. And they did... and you were. Dear God how I long for your walk with me every day, no matter how discouraged I become. I look forward to my time with you when we talk about the things that are going so badly and you remind me that you love me and that I cannot always see the big picture. But you can. Thank you God for pulling me through once again. Thank you for allowing me to taste victory and know you are cheering for me.

Thank you that, until the next time I'm at the end of my rope, you're teaching me how to cope when it all happens again. Thank you for that God.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Oh God...

I'm so tired of this God. I'm tired of the whole thing - the tests, the doctors, the driving, the side-effects. Help me persevere God! I know you can hold me up, help me withstand the hardest parts, and keep me from being discouraged. I'm just not feeling it, Lord! I'm feeling discouraged and I'm feeling tired and I want it to be over now. And I'm also tired of trying to smile and be the person everyone says has such a "great attitude". I'm tired of trying to make everyone else feel better and worrying about them. I just want it all to end.

Help me God. I'm so tired of all this....

Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day

God, may I never take for granted the hard-won freedoms that we have in this country! Today, on Memorial Day, may I be even more aware and appreciative of the price paid by so many over the centuries to bring us to this place where as a nation we are free to worship, to succeed, to come and go in our homes - so many things we hardly give thought to because we've been so blessed for so long.

God thank you for the blessing of this nation, of this town, of this house I live in. And thank you today for each and every person who gave the ultimate sacrifice on my behalf.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Missed church

I missed church this morning and I'm feeling lost now. I had no choice, really - illness made me stay inside today. But how I missed the fellowship with your people God!

I've belonged two churches in my life. The first one I attended from the time I was very small and was there for over forty years. The one I attend now is the one I started attending when I had to leave the first one. So my "home" churches have been few! But they've both provided me with a loving, caring church family and friends that mean the world to me.

Interestingly enough, the churches I've belonged to have been very different in their nature and it's taken me some adjustment to feel comfortable in this new body. Truth be told, sometimes I still feel like an outsider, but I think that's my issue, not the church's. For they've been nothing if not welcoming and friendly. I think its a simple matter of attending one church for my entire life and then making a change as a middle-aged woman to a church so different in its "style". It hasn't been an easy adjustment for me. But I love my present church and I enjoy the people as well as the teaching and the fellowship. They're good people and they let me know they care.

I missed church this morning and for the rest of the week I'll feel somewhat incomplete, Lord! Thank you for the blessing of a place to worship that I love!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Here I am

Once again I sit before your feet God, yearning for your presence. I'm heading into battle and I need to hear from my commander in chief. I need to listen to your words of instruction, to know the strategy, to feel confident in the outcome. I am waiting for the sense of assurance I know will come.

These are unsettling times, God, these times of facing the unknown. But you already know the final scene. You alone are in charge of the movement of your troops and my confidence is in your leadership.

I am ready for battle God. I have taken on the armor you've provided, listened to your words and instructions, and follow you willingly wherever you will take me. Let's get on with it God! Let's raise the battle cry and win this one!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

New day

Lord you've given me a new day. I barely know what to say. I don't deserve grace, and yet you've given it abundantly. I don't deserve mercy yet it's here for me. I don't deserve your love and yet you offer it freely. Once again I'm in awe of who you are.

How is it God that you can be so good to us and yet people still turn away from you? I know that I cannot turn away. I also know that if I did turn away you'd be standing right there, waiting for me to turn once again toward you, knowing that your grace, your mercy, and your love were all that I would ever need in this life. Because it is.

Thank you God for the gift of this day. For the gift of this life. For the gift of you.

Friday, May 8, 2009


How do I fight discouragement, Lord? Sometimes it seems as though the world is conspiring against me and the forces of evil are overpowering me and I'm so discouraged I can barely pray. Help me Lord!

I'm thinking about your servant Job. How he lost everything - EVERYTHING! He lost his property, his money, his possessions, his family. And yet he refused to curse God. He held his faith and he declared his loyalty. He told his friends that he would never turn from God.''

But I wonder Lord: Did he ever, in his heart, question you? Did he ever get discouraged and wonder why things were happening to him? Did he ever wonder if his faith was misplaced? I think I would feel better if I thought perhaps he had his doubts and his moments of discouragement. Like me.

I want to be like Job, Lord. But sometimes I feel like Thomas, who doubted. Help me Lord. Strengthen my faith. Keep me in your arms and make me aware of your presence. Let me be like Job.

Come, Lord Jesus...

Monday, May 4, 2009


How can it be, Lord, that I am up so high one day and down so low the next? Why am I so unsteady in this wild and wacky journey I'm on right now?

Yesterday I was feeling so optimistic, so ready to deal with the things that lay ahead. Today I'm feeling as though nothing is going to work out right - that things are not going to go well for me. I am desperate for your touch. Lord. I need to be aware of your presence, which feels distant to me right now. Help me Lord. I know you are there but I cannot see you today. I long for triumph but I feel defeat.

Sometimes it's just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other to move forward. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel like running again...

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Blessed escape

Lord - thank you for a peaceful, blessed escape from my everyday, crazy schedule.. A short trip out of town, a visit with family, a chance to just "get away from it all" has given me a new perspective and allowed me to feel ready again for the months ahead. Sometimes it's just a break from the action that's all it takes to make us feel invigorated, and armed for the battle. I'm rested and my mind is at peace. I feel I can take on the world now. And all it took was a couple days away from my calendar, away from my telephone, and distracted from the challenges I'm facing. A vacation for a world-weary traveler...

Thank you for such blessings. And thank you for traveling with me...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


God, I really hate this time of "limbo" in my life. It reminds me of those years just before I got married when I was trying to figure out where I was going and how my life was going to unfold. I am a person who likes order and structure in my life. I want to look at a calendar and see how the next weeks and months lay out. It gives me the illusion of some control. I hate not knowing what tomorrow is going to bring, even though I can logically say none of us ever knows that. I usually feel as though I know what lies ahead. Right now I feel as though I don't know what the next moment is going to bring - and it makes me feel lost, and afraid.

But I also know that you want us to be totally dependent on you God. I know that sometimes we need to feel helpless in order to be fully yours. And I also know that my feelings of helplessness make me turn to you. And I am content in your care.

Thank you for your constant presence, for your steadfastness, and for your affirming love. I am yours God. And as lost as I may sometimes feel, I know I am not. Because I am always at home in your arms.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

He will carry you...

A song that has meant so much to me lately goes like this:

There is no problem too big, God cannot solve it
There is no mountain too tall, God cannot move it
There is no storm so dark, God cannot calm it
There is no sorrow so deep, He cannot soothe it

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my brother that He will carry you
If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my sister that He will carry you

It reminds me that there is nothing that God cannot help us get through. And even in the worst possible circumstances, God is with us, walking beside us, carrying us in His arms, or simply waiting for us on the other side.

Thank you Lord for always being there for me. When nothing else works, when all other relationships disappoint, when the world seems cruel and heartless, I turn around and there you are. You never disappoint, you are always true, and I will always need you.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I'm listening

I'm listening God. I want to learn the lessons you have to teach me through this trial in my life. I'm so grateful for the way you've carried me through these past few months, helping me cope with the difficulties of life. I still need you Lord. I still need to feel your loving arms around me and know that you're walking with me all along the way. I need your presence, I need your peace, and I need your wisdom to be my constant companions. I cannot do this alone.

But you have promised to be with us through every trial in life. You have promised not to let anything happen to us that you cannot help us through. And you've promised that your grace would be sufficient for us, always. Thank you for those promises. Thank you for your grace. And thank you now because I know you are going to be faithful once again, as you always have been in the past. I love you Lord. Thank you for loving me.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Holy Week

Dear Lord, on this holiest of weeks, when we make the walk to the cross with you once again, may we keep our eyes firmly fixed on the truths of your love. And may we recognize again the sacrifices you made on our behalf. When we near the cross give us your eyes, your heart, your soul. Allow us to see the depth of your care for us. And enable us to feel the pain you felt, to know the heartache of rejection and the darkness of the cross.

Lord, thank you for your love, for your unending sacrifice, and for the life you have given us. Thank you that the darkness of Good Friday is followed by the glory of Easter Sunday. Today is Good Friday. But Sunday's coming! Praise God!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Tough days

Lord, I knew there were going to be days like this. I knew that there would be hard days, long days, days of struggle. I know that we cannot expect things to always go smoothly. And yet...I become easily discouraged when those days come.

I'm annoyed at my weaknesses. I hate that I get discouraged and fail to always lean on you. And I find myself expecially annoyed that I can't always find the joy in life. I prefer to choose joy. Some days its just harder to find it than others.

Lord keep me in the hollow of your hands. Allow me to work through the long and dreary days when the sun doesn't shine and I feel as though things may never be the same again. Stay close to my side while I struggle with discouragment and defeat. And remind me that tomorrow is another day and the sun will come out again and everything will look better. Because I know that to be true. I just need reminding now and again.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Wondrously made...

What a peaceful and constant presence you've been to me Lord, during this difficult trial in my life. I've felt your loving arms around me throughout these days just past as I faced physical hardship and the need for your healing power. I was surrounded by your love.

So many times these past days I've recalled the Psalm which talks about how we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and I'm awed by that knowledge. Watching the skill of the surgeons at work is one thing, but also seeing how my body heals on a daily basis is breath-taking. What a gift you've given us - these wonderful, vulnerable, imperfect and yet perfectly incredible vessels for our souls and spirits. I've had a real struggle in my life, learning to appreciate and love my own (especially) imperfect body. And yet suddenly, after this experience - still so new, raw, and continuing to unfold - I'm finding an appreciation for its perfection and a knowledge of what you see, that it brings me to my knees in gratitude.

Lord thank you! For I truly am fearfully and wonderfully made.....

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Surrounded by God

As I enter into the final day before my surgery I can honestly say that I am totally at peace. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not anxious, or that I don't wonder what the next days and weeks will bring! It means that whatever happens to me, now or later, I'm in God's hands, I feel His sweet presence with me, and there's no place I'd rather be. What a wonderful feeling it is to know that He's in control of my life and all that happens in it. I'm not afraid of death or of anything that life can throw in my direction. I'm simply resting in Him.

I'm so grateful for a God that knows the numbers of hairs in my head, who knew me when I was being formed in my mother's womb, and who alone knows the number of my days. As we sing in our Taize service:

Nothing can trouble,
nothing can frighten,
those who know God will never go wanting.

What else is there to say? Praise God!

Monday, March 16, 2009


I've been thinking a lot about death lately. I suppose that's natural since I've been diagnosed with cancer. I've no idea what the future holds for me, really - I could die soon or I could live another twenty years - the Bible tells us that none of us knows the time or the day, and that is surely true. But what I've figured out is this: God doesn't look at death as a horrible thing, an ending, a tragedy. To God, death from this life means our presence with Him. I believe that when we die - the minute we leave this earthly presence - we are in the presence of God. Why would we be afraid of that?

I love my life and I don't have any desire to leave it behind just yet. As humans we are all afraid of the unknown. But I'm not afraid of death and I don't dread it. I don't like to ponder the "process", which can be so hard. And I don't like thinking about leaving the people I love so dearly behind. Of course I would like to see my grandchildren grow up! But death? It holds no terror for me. Because I know that to be in God's presence will be glorious.

"For to live is Christ, but to die is gain..."

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wonderfully made...

Oh Lord, I am fearfully and wonderfully made - isn't that what the Psalms tell me? And don't they also tell me that you know the numbers of hairs on my head and the way my body was knit together in my mother's womb? Yes - you have assured us so many times that you know everything about us and you care about our lives.

So why am I worried Lord? Why do I wonder what the next weeks will bring when I know that whatever it is, you're in control? Things may happen that I wouldn't choose. I might be in pain, or frightened, or face unbelievable challenges. But you'll be with me every step of the way, throughout it all. And nothing will happen to me that you're not aware of. Whatever the future holds, we'll face it together, you and I. Thank you for that promise.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Let the sun shine in!

It struck me Tuesday morning. We had endured two days of snow and dark skies and for the most part everything had closed down for a day (on Monday). Then Tuesday morning the sun was shining brightly and the world looked beautiful. It bounced off the snow and made the world look beautiful and clean. A great change from the day before. I thought how wonderful it is that despite the darkest days in our lives, despite the discouraging moments and the sadnesses we encounter, despite all the difficulties we face...the sun eventually comes out. And when it does, everything looks better.

As Christians it's the "son" that serves to remind us that despite the hard things we deal with and the difficulties we face, the son will illuminate the glory of life once we are ready to welcome Him in. So when the shadows come, and they surely will, we just need to remember that tomorrow is another day, and the son will be there for us when it comes - to brighten our world and remind us that He is the same, yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Monday, March 2, 2009


As the snow falls outside the window and the world is coated in white, my mind turns to you God. I'm amazed at the beauty of your world. I'm overwhelmed by the intricate and exquisite glory of everything I see. What a concept snow is!

Thank you God for your wonderful world. Grant us the grace to never take it for granted. Help us to see things through your eyes and to recognize each miracle for what it is. And help us to be always, obviously, happily grateful. And to appreciate the snow...

Monday, February 23, 2009

New day

Thank you Lord for this beautiful new day. Thank you that with the rising sun comes optimism and a sense of opportunity. Thank you for the ability we have as humans to bounce back and regain our footing when we stumble and thank you for being there with arms outstretched when we need a hand. You are ever and obviously present in my life. Thank you for caring about me. My heart is filled with praise to you O Lord. My soul sings with thanksgiving.

Saturday, February 21, 2009


Oh Lord, its the end of a long week and I am so looking forward to being with your children at worship tomorrow. I really need that wonderful shot of energy that I feel when I'm raising my voice to heaven, singing hymns with a choir of believers who, like me, look to you for their strength and peace - and for the courage to face another week. It's the tonic we all need to sooth our souls and calm our spirits.

Yes, I'm anxious to be at church again - because there's strength and comfort in numbers. Just like the little girl who told her mother that she knew God was with her in the dark, but sometimes she really needed someone with skin on. I know God is with me all week too - but on Sundays I get skin.

Thank you for your body of believers Lord. Thank you for all the skin.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Draw me up Lord

Our pastor told us that we need to ask God to "draw us up" to Him when we are hurting. What a wonderful concept, that God will draw us up to Himself when our hearts are heavy, when we're hurting physically, when we cannot find peace. Because it's in being close to Him that our peace, our comfort, our contentment will come.

In the early hours of the morning, when I wake with fears and concerns, I'm raising my heart to God and asking Him to draw me up. Draw me up to Him, to His all encompassing, all knowing, all powerful presence. To be enfolded and surrounded, comforted and assured. Draw me up Lord! I want to be totally in your presence.

Click to hear a portion of Pastor Toms sermon:

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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Joy in the morning

Our pastor has been using the Psalms for his messages since the first of the year and every week I'm touched by David's writings. How beautifully he describes the longings and emotions of every human soul. David may have been a man after God's heart but he was also an "everyman" and he speaks for all of us when he cries out to God in supplication. His Psalms run the gamut of every human emotion, from the agony and pain of loss to the intense joy of close fellowship with God.

This week the Pastor focused on Psalm 30, one of my own personal favorites. "Sorrow may last for a night but joy comes in the morning" we are assured. Is there a sweeter promise in scripture?

Regardless of what's happening in our lives, despite the many difficulties we face, we are assured that we will find joy when the morning comes. How comforting to know that God is there for us, throughout the night and into the morning. We can make it through the darkest nights as long as we know the morning is coming.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Isn't it wonderful how God uses music to touch our souls? During this trying time in my life I find that when all else fails, the music comes. I can pray with hymns. I can praise with my voice. I can sing in my head when I'm in the middle of a medical test and looking for peace. Because music is a way that God speaks to us, just as He did in the Psalms so long ago.

So many songs have been touching me lately that I've lost count. But one that is always close says this:

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow,
and I know who holds my hand.

And I do.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Great is Thy Faithfulness

This morning at worship we sang one of my favorite hymns, "Great Is Thy Faithfulness". Everytime I sing that song the words touch my heart and bring tears to my eyes, and today was no different. "All I have needed Thy hand hath provided, great is Thy faithfulness Lord unto to me" I sang with all my heart.

As difficult as these past few weeks have been, I've never doubted God's faithfulness to me. I've felt His presence every day and His strength has enabled me to get through the toughest of times. I pray in the car and I pray in the doctor's offices and He never fails to fill me with His peace. My heart may be pounding and I may be afraid, but I am never alone.

"Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies I see! All I have needed Thy hand hath provided, great is Thy faithfulness Lord unto me."

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


It a wonderful thing to feel God's presence. I can't say I always do - but that's my own fault because I know God is there for me. Sometimes I'm just too preoccupied with life to simply turn around and take the hand that's offered. But - I'm abiding in that presence right now and its a wonderful place to be.

Thank you God for your promise to always be there for us. And thank you for the reality too. Because when I'm smart enough to look for you, you're always right there waiting. And the strong hand you offer to me is all I ever need to get through the day.

Saturday, January 31, 2009


I saw an advertisement today for a forum where we could go and ask any questions we have about God. I wondered who the expert was that was going to answer the unanswerable! Who can tell me how God's love can be so overpowering and God's joy can be so encompassing that words cannot even describe them? Who can tell me why God cares about me? And who can tell me why God should care about the things that trouble me?

No one knows the answer to those questions, but I know the truth of them. The things we experience, the things we know - those are things no one has to prove to us. But the "hows" and the "whys"? That's the real puzzle about God.

I may never know the answers to those questions but I know this to be true: God loves me, God fills me with peace and joy, and God cares about everything in my life. And that knowledge is what matters.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Sweet peace

"Peace, peace, sweet peace" - I remember the words of that hymn from when I was younger. I haven't heard it in a very long time, but those words from the chorus come back to me so many times and I feel that exquisite peace roll right over me. It fills me, it covers me, it envelops me.

God thank you for that wonderful, comforting, glorious peace that you send when we need it. Thank you for assuring us, in our most trying hours, that you're with us - that you love us. And thank you for never leaving us without your presense. Your promises are forever and you never forget us.

Peace. Peace. Sweet, sweet peace.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I realize that sometimes you allow hard things in our lives to get our attention, but Lord - enough for right now! This past two-and-a-half years have been really hard at my house and I don't need anymore at the moment. But you do have my attention! I am listening to you God. I want and need to know what you are saying to me. Teach me. Touch me. Hold me. I want to feel the "love that will not let me go" right now. I need you God. I know you are there for me and I know you will always be there for me. But just now, I'm feeling a little lost. Turning over control to anyone else is not easy for me.

But I am listening carefully God!

Sunday, January 18, 2009


Lord thank you for times of joy and optimism in a world of trials and stress! Here we are on the verge of inaugurating a new president, which is always a time of excitement and optimism in the country, no matter what your political affiliation. We all hope for the best - we are optimistic people by nature. We expect nothing but good things from our leaders until they disappoint us by being human and therefore flawed. And then of course we wail and carry on about their horrible failings and wonder how we ever trusted them in the first place.

We are complicated people Lord!

Please keep this new president in the palm of your hand and close to your heart. Prick his conscience with the knowledge that he needs you - must seek your wisdom, and desire your grace. Dear Lord, help us all! May our optimism be rewarded...this time...

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Dear God the snow is beautiful today. What an incredible concept, snow! The flakes are just drifting to the ground, which is covered with a white blanket of cold, and the world looks like something out of a fairy tale.

Sometimes your world just amazes me Lord. Such a wonderful place you've created for us. There's beauty all around us and amazing things to see if only we are willing to open our eyes and look.

When life is hard - which it often is - and I'm feeling a little low, my God, thank you for sending a miracle like the snow.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A new year

Lord thank you for a new year. I love to open a new calendar and see all those lovely blank pages, ready to be filled with "life"! There is nothing but promise ahead. I feel blessed to have come to another year and I'm overhwelmed with the potential that it brings. Lord help me to make use of it wisely! Help me to prioritize. Help me to use my time carefully, treating it like the gift that it is. And help me to set goals for this year that are reachable and pleasing to you.

Lord thank you for this new year. And please - help me not to waste it!