Sunday, December 28, 2008


Well Lord, another Christmas is over! Thank you for helping me to keep things in perspective this year - to not forget what the celebration is all about! Thank you for helping me make this Christmas one of joy and wonder and not stress and anxiety. Thank you for allowing me to rejoice this year after such a sad holiday one short year ago when I was missing my mother so painfully. Lord, you know I still miss her! But you have allowed me to come through to the other side of grief and enjoy so many wonderful memories, whether they make me sad or not. I no longer dread the memories. Now I embrace them.

Most of all Lord - thank you for the gift of the very first Christmas over two thousand years ago. Thank you for a tiny baby that came to earth for me. And thank you for reminding me throughout this past month how important that gift was and is to me.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Busy season

Lord help me to slow down long enough to think about what the season is all about today. I have so many things to do, so many places to go, so many errands to run - but I want to make sure I never lose sight of what is really important about Christmas while I am busy checking things off my "busy" list.

Lord, give me the peace that only comes from you. As I run my errands and do my cleaning, as I wrap my gifts and plan my menus, I pray for this. And I pray that the trappings of Christmas will never overshadow the real meaning of the celebration: a tiny baby sent to earth to bring us salvation, to teach us love, to show us grace.

Thank you Lord, for the ultimate gift.

Saturday, November 29, 2008


It has been a wonderful week of thanks and my heart is overflowing with gratitude for so many things. If I were to list my blessings I think I would be embarrassed at the abundance of them, especially when there is so much pain and want in the world. But I know I am blessed.

Lord, in this busy holiday season help me to remember those less fortunate than I. Help me to think about the child that has nothing when I am wrapping gifts for my grandchildren. Help me to remember the thousands that go to bed hungry when I am socializing with friends around tables of abundance. And help me to remember those who are serving in our military when I am enjoying my family all around me. Lord, please make me always mindful of those who are not as fortunate as I.

And thank you Lord for the things I have. I know I am not worthy.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Season of thanks

Dear Lord in this season of thanks please help me remember that I have things to be thankful for all year. Let me always have a grateful heart for my many blessings. Don't allow me to be distracted by the little things that tend to get me down but help me to always stay focused on the larger picture: my family, my friends, my community.

Thank you for the roof over my head, despite the leaky moments! Thank you for a wonderful family regardless of the trials that go along with that blessing! Thank you for a church that embraces me and teaches me and guides me, even when it also frustrates me. And thank you for your constant presence in my life. May I never fail to recognize it, even when so many other things are clamoring for my attention.

Thank you this time which reminds us to remember to give thanks...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Feeling low

Dear God please give me the energy I need to get through yet another day when I feel so lousy! It's that in-between kind of sick that is so hard to deal with: well enough to get out of bed and function but not well enough to enjoy doing it.

Mostly Lord, remind me that there are millions of people in the world who get up every day feeling lousy. There are people who will never feel good, who may have chronic pain, who are suffering physically as well as mentally for so many different reasons. Help me to remember those people, to pray for those people, and to be loving and kind to those people when I have contact with them, which I often do. Don't let me look past them and ignore their suffering, but rather offer a kind word or a helping hand.

And most of all, may I never take my own good health for granted. My feeling "not-so-great" reminds me how wonderful it is to feel really good the rest of the time.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Cold weather

I always think about our military when the temperature drops at this time of the year. I imagine that's because my father served during WWII and talked about how cold it was in the winter of '43 during the Battle of the Bulge. So I guess our young men and women could also be suffering from the effects of the extreme weather and I worry about them.

Lord, in this week of remembering our military men and woman, please bring to them the peace of knowing that you are with them, that you care about them, and that we are thinking about them too. May they feel your presence in a real and tangible way. And may we never forget how they are serving us in a fragmented and dangerous world. Thank you for them. Thank you that they are willing to serve. And thank you for the freedoms we have because of them.
Oh and Lord-please keep them warm.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Too busy

I'm feeling overwhelmed God. Please help me prioritize my life! I have this way of getting in over my head, doing multiple projects at one time and not pacing myself well, and then when I'm in the middle of it all, the stress can be brutal. I need wisdom and I need to learn how to say "no". How can I find that ability God?

As my busy life begins to unravel, help me to sit down, put things in proper perspective, and rest in you.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Season of thanks

Now that we are into November it puts me in the mindset of giving thanks. Of course I am always grateful for my many blessings, but this month we all spend time really concentrating on the things we thank God for, so here I go:

God - thank you for:
A world that is more amazing and fascinating every day.
A home that I can retreat to when that world seems daunting.
A family that I love and that I know loves me back.
A group of friends that are there for me when I need them, just as I am there
for them when they need me.
A purpose and a mission: to love you and glorify you forever.
A healthy mind and body.
A church family that I count on for support and guidance.
A husband whom I still love and want to be with every day.
Food on my table and clothes on my back.
Beauty all around me.
The confidence that comes with seeking your will.
Skills I can use for your glory.
Hope for the future when things look so hopeless.
An eye toward tomorrow when others are focused on today.

Make me ever mindful of these and my other blessings Lord, too many to list. And may I never forget them, despite the difficult days, the hard times, the worries over money and health and life.
Most of all help me to keep my perspective on what the important things in life really are.

Monday, October 27, 2008


Thank you for friends God. It seems that in the most difficult moments in life, it is our friends that you use to be your voice of wisdom and comfort. And when we are celebrating a wonderful event, it is those same friends that rejoice with us, becoming your arms to envelope us in a congratulatory hug. It is our friends who become, as Mother Teresa explained, the "pencils in God's hands". What would we do without our friends?

And God, please help us to be the same kind of friend to the people in our lives who also long for your presence. Help us to be your arms reaching out for a hug, or your legs running a much needed errand, or your spirit lending a listening ear. Help us to be you on earth.

Thank you for our friends.

Friday, October 17, 2008


Thank you for mornings God! I love waking up to a new day and feeling optimistic about what the day holds. Everything seems better in the morning light and no matter what yesterday held, today is a new day.

And thank you for your promise to walk with me as I go through this new day. Thank you that I have the confidence of your presence and courage that comes from knowing you are with me.

Thank you for mornings God.

Monday, October 13, 2008


I have decisions to make and I don't know how to make them. I have prayed about them, I've meditated on Biblical passages, I've sought out the counsel of others - and nothing. I don't know what my decisions are supposed to be.

It doesn't seem quite fair, God, that you know everything about me, from the number of hairs on my head to the groanings of my heart, and yet I have such a hard time finding the answers to the decisions I have to make in my life. Couldn't you, in your infinite wisdom and power, have worked out a better way to help us know what we are supposed to do when faced with our dilemmas? I am willing and able to do what you want me to do. But I need to know what that is.

The question of your will is the most confusing of all to me. I am seeking it but not finding it. Help me Lord. Just help me make a decision, please!

Monday, October 6, 2008


This autumn has me thinking about the stage of life I am in, which could only be considered "autumn". As a middle-aged woman I know that I have already lived more than half my life, and that is a strange feeling. For so many years you feel as though you are looking into the future and then suddenly, the future is a bit more uncertain. Children leave home, friends get sick, parents die - life changes when you get older, and the things that are important to us change as well. Family and friends demand more attention because we realize that at the end of the day they are the things that really matter, not how much money we made or how important we were. "Things" seem to drop away in our list of priorities and people suddenly come to the fore.

The Bible teaches us this lesson over and over again if we care to see it. We are told that only the things of heaven are important and the things of earth will fall away. We are taught to take care of each other and not worry so much about ourselves or the things we are able to accumulate. We are advised to pay more attention to our souls and less attention to our possessions.

As young people it is hard to understand those lessons but as older ones we see the wisdom of what God tries to teach us. It's frustrating to try to pass those lessons on to our children and grandchildren because we know that, just like we once were, they are only looking forward. If only we could share our perspective.

God's lessons are timeless and true. We all need to heed them more fully. At least I know I do.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Beautiful days

I am so grateful for beautiful days. I think that I can tolerate lots of bad weather - including many days of rain or snow - as long as I can be promised a bright and sunny day when the worst is over. Because a beutiful day like today makes everything better. The mood lifts, the spirit soars, and suddenly, all's right with the world. Even in the dead of winter, a wonderful sunny day following a snow sotrm is like a tonic for the soul and we gladly pull on the boots and head out into the world. What a difference the weather makes.

On days like today I need to take the time to say thanks and enjoy a gift from God. Because perfect days are rare enough to be special and yet common enough to be taken for granted.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Morning church

There are many reasons that I attend church, among them are the opportunity for focused worship and fellowship with the community of believers. But another is the opportunity to learn from the teaching there and this morning I was especially pleased at the lesson I brought home with me. It was something in the liturgy (and I am not a big fan of liturgy so this is big for me!) that struck me. We were doing the "call to worship" when we read this line: We are here not to escape from the world but to be more profoundly involved in it.

Hummmm. I so enjoy my "escape" every Sunday to the peace of the worship service. And here I am being challenged not to think of it as an escape but rather a call to duty. How interesting!

Of course - our Christian walk is many things, and peaceful meditation is certainly one of them. But being involved in our communities and being the conduit for change is also one of them, and I think being reminded of that is a good thing. It is way too easy to sit back and allow others to minister to us. It is so much more difficult to reach out and minister to others.

It was a lesson that was worth repeating and I am glad I was there to hear it.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Overwhelming grace

Dear God sometimes I am overwhelmed with your grace. I feel unworthy of the smallest gifts and yet you continue to give them freely. I don't know how to express my gratitude.

Help me to have a gracious heart Lord. Help me to not take things for granted. And allow me always to see your hand at work so I never assume that I am accomplishing things solely on my own merit.

Thank you God for my life, for my home, for my family. And thank you most of all for your touch. I am humbled by it.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


I'm missing my mother today. It's been less than two years since she died and occasionally there are days when the ache comes back and hangs on - like today.

I believe that God uses the people in our lives to mold us and shape us into the beings we are meant to be, and some of those people have more effect than others. Parents are especially important in the process, naturally. But I think that my mother was a stronger and more influential part of my life than most and even I did not realize her importance until she was gone.

It was that strong, moral core that I so depended on and now that it is gone I still feel a bit like I'm walking in circles trying to find my way out of something. It's an odd thing - and difficult to explain - but very much an influence on my life right now.

I feel God's presence every day. And every day I miss my mother's. I think that she represented God's presence for me many times while she was on this earth and now, with her gone, I long for that sense of "God in the flesh" that she gave me. It was as if she was God's spokesperson - I could go to her with questions or worries and she would always have just the right the scripture to give me, full of assurance and the fullness of grace.

Perhaps the time has come for me to be more of the person my mother was, to study the scriptures more fervently, to pray more thoroughly, to inhabit God more fully. Perhaps that is my lesson for today. And God is still using my mother to teach me.

What a gift.

Monday, September 8, 2008


Sometimes, Lord, I yearn for guidance. Oh - I know all the cliches out there, how I should get guidance from your word, from teaching and preaching, from my conscionse - I remember all the things I've been taught over the years. But sometimes it just isn't enough and I long for a conversation with you - in the flesh. I want to ask you point blank "What should I do?" or "What is this about?" and have you answer me so I know without a doubt what the truth is. There are so many puzzles in life.

I am sure that in your infinate wisdom you know that I am better off not having such direct answers and I accept that. But sometimes, Lord - I just want to know.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Storm clouds

Few things are truly "awesome" in life, despite the popularity of that word these days. But the power of the weather is one of them, and storms like the one quickly approaching us is surely an illustration of the word. Watching the visual evidence on TV, of a huge swirling mass of energy and destruction, well it makes us stop and take notice.

It reminds me of the scripture in the book of Job where Job questions God and God in turn says to Job something along the lines of "Where were you when I created all this...when the seas were formed....when the earth came from nothing?" It was God's not-so-gentle way of reminding Job that we really are wuite insignificant in the grand scheme of things - and the magnitude of a storm has that same effect on me.

And yet, God also tells us that he knows the number of hairs we have on our heads and cares more about us than we could possibly imagine. What a dicotomy. How divine. And how wonderful.

Bring on the storms.

Friday, September 5, 2008


Dear God - its an election year! Sometimes I find myself so befuddled over the nuances of tax cuts and social services and so confused about who is going to do what and which would be better for us as a country - could you help me out here God? Already I am losing sleep!

Sometimes the decisions we make in life, both big and small, are so complicated that my head spins. There have been many times when I have literally thrown the dice and just jumped in to whatever it was facing me, with no clear direction and no real heading. These are frightening times in our lives! Whether it is buying a house or disciplining our children, sometimes there are just no real reliable ways to make choices about things.

And now, an election. All we can do is pray for wisdom.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


When I start to feel cold every year, as the weather changes from summer to auntumn, I think about people who live in the cold all the time. Not those who necessarily live in cold climates, but those who don't have proper homes, or clothing - those people whom the rest of the world has forgotten, some of whom live right here in the USA. Sometimes we walk by them on city streets or see photos of them under layers of newspaper, sleeping on a park bench somewhere. Those are the people I am thinking of this morning. And I am also remembering that many chilkdren do not have warm houses to live in or proper winter coats to wear to school. Because if I am chilly here in my house, with plenty of blankets to grab when I need them, and more sweaters that I know what to do with, then how are those people feeling today? And how will they manage in January?

God help me to open my eyes to the people in the world who are suffering all around me. Help me to never turn a blind eye to the needs of others. And help me to always have an open pocketbook, no matter how many Christmas gifts I need to buy, or what kind of rug I want for my living room. Help me to see those people as your children and love them the way that you do.

Thank you for this cold morning and for reminding me that I have responsibilites to you and to the larger world.

Monday, September 1, 2008

A gift

This morning was a gift. As is the norm on most holidays, we lingered in bed a little longer than usual. Then we picked up coffee and bagels and went to sit on the bench at Main Beach just enjoying what is a beautiful morning. The sun was bright and the water, with perfectly forming swells which sent long foamy fingers up over the ridge to feed a little lake forming from the incoming tide, was a brilliant blue highlighted by the morning light which lit it with a thousand sparkling points. It was stunning.

It is easy to take such beauty for granted when you have lived your entiire life in a place like East Hampton, but on a morning like this one it was as if God was saying "Look! Open your eyes! This is really something to see!" I surely got the message today.

What a lucky place to be. I am forever grateful to my ancestors for making the arduous trip from Connecticut back in the late 1700s and eventually finding their way here to the very east end. And then for investing themselves in this community to help mold it and form it into this place.

It was a gift. And it keeps on giving.

Saturday, August 30, 2008


Thank you God for the wonder of my life. On days like today, when one of my children celebrates yet another year on this earth, I am bound to think about my blessings and be grateful once again for all of them. First and foremost among those blesings is my family - each member a special part of me and each one vital to the puzzle of who I am.

Help me never to take them for granted Lord. Help me to always remember that they were given to me for a reason - mine by design. Help me to never stop learning from them, and help me never to stop wanting them to be their best.

Most of all, thank you for loaning them to me.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Preparing for the crowds

Lord help me to be patient and kind this weekend. I have tried hard to be well prepared, to get my shopping all done and have my menus all planned - but I know that I will be challenged with crowds, and attitudes, and traffic in this, the last hurrah of the summer season. I need your help to do it with grace. It seems as though I start the summer with a smile but by the time Labor Day arrives I am about at the end of my rope. And I know that's not the way to show your face to the world.

So Lord, give me grace. And while you're at it could you throw in some nice weather too?

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Morning chill

I am really cold this morning. It seems as though it is already September, although the calendar still says August. I hope this is not a harbinger of things to come. The Farmers Almanac says it is going to be a very cold winter.

I like snow but not as a steady diet. I would not be happy in a more northern clime, where snow removal is a big business and plows are used on a weekly basis. But the weather does make me wonder at God's creation. What a wonderful world this is, where moving from one latitude to another can change your daily routine drastically. From the tropics to the glaciers, God has made us an interesting world, isn't that true?

As full of ourselves as we humans get, we cannot control the weather. That is God's domain. (Although with global warming it seems we can eventually ruin even that part of God's gift if we choose to!) I stand in awe of the weather. And of everything that God has presented to us. May I never take it all for granted.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Just wondering

This is one of those days when I am just wondering what its all about. You know what I'm talking about - those rare times when you feel just sort of "odd" - sort of out of sorts and not quite on the same page as anyone else - almost like you stepped off a spaceship into a strange place where everything feels familiar...but not quite. Am I the only one that ever feels that way?

Lord, please use me today in a way I am not even imagining right now. Take this strangely odd day and make it something special. Help me find a way to reach out to someone else, to make a difference in someone's life - to just be fully alive. To feel life as it should be felt and know where I fit in the grand scheme of things.

Today I need to feel your love. Thank you for the peace I have that its there.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


I love the peace of the early morning. I can sit in my office with the windows opened and not hear a human sound. No cars, no television - just the sound of the birds and the occasionaly rustling of a squirrel out in the garden to keep me company. These are God-times for me. I find that the early morning is second only to driving in the car as the best times for the spiritual conversations that keep me grounded and centered on Him.

Yesterday I was in the car a good deal of time as I battled traffic to and from Southampton on a busy day. I was able to really unburden my soul as I wound around the back roads, and I knew when I finally got home that I had been spiritually renewed.

Today it is especially early - for some reason I woke and knew I would not be going back to sleep. So I got up, dressed and came downstairs. This is a chance to spend quality time with God. Which is exactly what I am going to do....

Sunday, August 24, 2008


I can always feel the difference on a Sunday, even before I get out of bed. It's a day to relax, contemplate, worship, and recover from a long week.

When I woke up this morning I luxuriated in the day. It was chilly and I pulled the covers up high over my shoulders against the air, slowy coming out of the half-sleep that tells us our brains are stirring. Birds were busy getting their morning food, talking up a storm outside the window, and the rest of the world seemed quite still. Few cars drove by, and Sunday was emerging from Saturday as lazily as I was.

Thank you God for Sunday. Thank you for giving us this day of rest, for recouperation, for meditation, for relaxation. Thank you for giving us the chance to do nothing and not feel quilty about it. And thank you for the freedom to attend whatever church I choose and to pray - in public. Its a freedom we take for granted in this country and many rarely use. Don't let me take it for granted Lord. Help me to always make the most of it. Help me make the most of it today.

Thank you for Sundays.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Lazy days

This is one of those days I call "lazy days". Not that I haven't accomplished anything because I certainly have - I spent the morning cleaning the house and I surely did enough to feel as though I did not waste the day. But somehow if I am not working all day at something, if I'm sitting around watching TV or reading a book - or knitting on a cold winter afternoon - I feel as though I'm being lazy. I think it comes from my Puritan roots - or a mother whose mantra seemed to be "idle hands are the devils workshop". She was always busy doing something and if I walked in and found her sitting with a magazine she would appear embarrassed that I had "caught" her.

I'm not sure that Mom had it right. I think God delights in us enjoying his creation. And I think that a few hours spent in the backyard reading while enjoying the perfectly blue sky and the blissfully comfortable air is a form of worship in itself. I think that watching the snow fall and sitting in front of the fire can be a sacred experience. Because whenever I sit back and enjoy a "lazy day" my thoughts inescapably turn to God. I look in wonder at the world around me. I contemplate my many blessings. And I thank God for all of it.

Sorry Mom - I think you were wrong on this one.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Life overwhelming

Sometimes it takes a trajedy to make one grateful. There have been many tragedies in my hometown this past few months - suicides among them - and recently a small child killed when she steered her wagon into the path of traffic. These are things that bring us up short, make us stop and think - and always, always say a prayer of thanks.

Because everything we have in life is fleeting. The Bible says our very lives are like a "vapor", quickly disappearing. We are reminded of that all too often. And we need to treasure what we have while we have it.

Thank you God for life itself, for the struggles and the pain, for the joys and the thrills, because these are the things that make us feel, and exprerience, and know that we are alive.

Thank you Lord for all the things we have and make us mindful of the need to cherish every day, and every blessing, while we are in the present. Because we don't know what the future is going to bring.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


I see God in the hydrangeas. I'm not sure what it is about those bushes, but they touch something in me that is really special and I love them. In fact, I love every color, type and style of them and have quite a few in my own yard. The bushes are incredible with their huge heads of tight blossoms and the deep blues and purples are really mind boggling. But I also love the variety that is more tree-like, with white pyramid-shaped blossoms, heavy enough to make the long branches hang like waterfalls.

It's the beauty and variety of God's creation which makes me see that hand at work. When something takes my breath away it is as though God is reminding me who is in charge and who is calling the shots here. Like it or not, it's not me! And He who takes your breath away also gives it in good measure.

Your world is beautiful God!

Monday, August 18, 2008

A long day

This was a long day, God. It seemed as though one thing after another went wrong and everytime I turned around there was yet another crisis to deal with, another sadness to absorb. Some days are just like that God. Long....and sad....and really, really hard.

Help me to survive the long, hard days God. Help me to see beyond the sad things and the difficult things and the incredibly puzzling things. Help me to see tomorrow and know that when it comes the sun will shine on a new day and things will look better.

Because they always do. Sometimes its just hard to remember that.

Dear Lord!

I cannot understand some things Lord. Like how can someone take their most precious gift - their life - and throw it away?

This morning's ambulance call was for just such a person and my heart is aching for them and their despair. I have known despair myself before, and I have been at my wit's end more than once, but never have I contemplated something so horrible. I am moved by such an act and my thoughts are of a family now facing the consequences of it. Dear God - help them!

And God help me as well. Help me, as I wander through this life, to have your eyes. Help me to see the desperation in another's and offer a hand where I can. Allow me to recognize the pain on someone's face and reach out to them in any way possible. Help me know that anyone I come into contact with may be lonely, sad, grieving, whatever. And help me to treat everyone with kindness and patience and reach out with your love.

Help me - help us all - to be your face in the world. Dear God help me!

Sunday, August 17, 2008


I love Sunday. I love to sleep just a little later and then get dressed knowing I am going to have an encounter with God when I leave home. Because as often as I talk with God in my car or while I'm cleaning the house, there is something quite different about going to church and being in God's house. Once I sit in that pew I am able to let all the week's hassles and all the year's garbage just drop away from my mind and I am totally absorbed with gratitude. I am thankful for my life, my family, my home, my health - all the many blessings I know are unmerited. And yet they are mine.

So when I get to church it's not about me anymore. I don't bring my problems or questions to God, I don't ask for favors or help, I don't bring my grief or my worries - I simply, gloriously, happily worship. And I can do it in any church, in any town, in any country of the world. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Morning has broken

The words of the song "Morning Has Broken" often come to mind on days like this. Because the sun is shining, the air is cool, and the world looks so beautiful. I especially think about the term "God's re-creation" in the song as it refers to each new morning and what a gift it is to wake up and be part of the world another day. Its a privilege we take for granted for the most part.Because we are so caught up in our busy lives its just another day. But what a glorious thing it is when you wake up and can get out of bed, can walk down your stairs, can do all the things we do without giving it a second thought.

We are re-created each day as well. And as the day stretches out before us we have many choices about how we are going to spend it. My mother had the right idea - she began her day with her Bible opened on the kitchen table, reading and praying, and making sure she faced the day with the gratitude it deserved. I have tried that routine a number of times in my life and never seem to be able to get it down to where it is a real "routine". Always a phone call, or some other interruption gets in the way. But Mom had it right. She began her day focusing on the right thing and her life reflected that.

Its time for me to try it again.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Driving in the car

I spend a good amount of my driving time talking to God. In fact, I rarely even have the radio on. This is my one-on-one time, my chance to be along with my thoughts and just let God know what I'm thinking.

Today my thoughts were for particular children of mine who are in need of the kind of guidance that only God can give them. I spent a good 20 munutes telling him how much they needed his intervention, his peace, his love, and his direction. I reminded him how much they wanted those things, sought his will in their lives, and were patiently waiting. Of course I know God knows all of that, but I still like to remind him in case he hasn't kept them on the front burner.

I also spent a good deal of my drive to and from Hampton Bays thanking him. I have so many things to be thankful for and I know that sometimes we who are blessed forget how good we have it. Food, shelter, love - the basics in life we take for granted. God forgive me for that.

The car is my little chapel and God and I are very comfortable in there together. Thankfully he meets me wherever I am. I just don't look for him often enough. Forgive me for that too God.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


I long for serenity sometimes. My life is insanely busy and even though I know it could be worse, I think it is more than enough for me. And the things I long for are peace and serenity, but I also know myself well enough to know that I love being busy. Such a conundrum!

At the times I think about serenity I often meditate on the idea of "abiding" in God. Its a Biblical concept and I know it is something I truly strive for. I want that peace and contentment that comes with abiding in God. I know how wonderful it is because I've experienced it before. They were times of immersion in His word, prayer that totally transformed me, spiritual experiences that made me feel God's presence in such an undeniable way that I could never say God did not exist. So I understand the concept and I seek it more often.

Recently I read the book "Eat, Pray, Love" and I got a glimpse of the kind of abiding in God that I look for. In the case of the author it was found in Bali under the tutalege of a spiritual teacher. Her description made me long for it even more. I don't need to go to Bali - I know I can find it here. It's my busy life that gets in the way.

And aren't we all longing for that kind of peace in our lives? The kind of peace that fills the soul when one is abiding in God? I think we do. I KNOW I do! Over and over and over again. Here I am God - fill me. Abide in me.....

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Down by the sea

It was a beautiful morning in August when I took a mini-vacation – a long walk along the beach. I do that occasionally when I need a “mental health” break – in fact I started doing that as soon as I was old enough to drive myself. Back then it was my escape from the world of teenaged angst, my latest case of unrequited love, or the perceived slight of soeone that I wanted badly to be friends with - but now it is a way to just be alone with my thoughts - without a phone to ring or a schedule to worry about. With so much "stuff" going on in my life, I knew I needed some time alone to reflect and talk to God.

I had walked far enough to be pretty much by myself save for an occasional dog walking with his owner, so I went and sat up near the dunes for awhile. The water was especially compelling that day - clear and blue and very calm, with just enough surf to create those lovely rolling waves which begin far to the right and uncurl languidly along the shore, moving out of sight just in time for the next one to come along in the same manner. It was relaxing and bewitching all at the same time and I was probably there for a good 30 minutes just meditating and praying. It was incredibly restorative to just get away from the worries of the day and my overbooked calendar and chat with God. I talked about my frustrations and worries, my concerns and conundrums, and when I was done I got up and headed back to my car, leaving it all behind. I was reminded of the scripture "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls".

By the time I got back to my car I was a new person, renewed and refreshed, feeling lighter and freer than I had in awhile. I truly had found rest for my soul, and my entire being felt different.

So now.... I’m ready to take on September!